#ive been waiting for this one and i KNEW it wouldn't disappoint me
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run2yew · 2 years ago
Text
I cried.
Of Apples and Moss Beds (M) ~Felix [ft. Hyunjin]
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Pairing: Werewolf!Felix x Werewolf!AFAB.Reader x Werewolf!Hyunjin Themes: Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Angst | Fluff | Strangers to Lovers | Soulmate AU? Word Count: ~15k | AO3 Synopsis: Felix’s crude reality made it so he hardly dwelled on the fact that he was alone. He never would’ve imagined he’d find a loving family of his own, or that he would be capable of imprinting and finding a soulmate, let alone two. [This story is an instalment of my WereRoomies series. you don’t need to read the other instalments to understand this piece]. Warnings (SO MANY):  Felix’s POV · few descriptives of the reader such as: has big naturals, is older than Felix, is nonbinary/doesn’t care about gender (use of they/she pronouns, even in the same sentence) · mentions of child abuse · LGBTQ+ themes · it takes a WHILE for the reader to make an appearance oops there’s just a lot of backstory and exposition, y’all know i can’t shut the fuck up · pet names (baby, prince, darling, dear, pup, etc, so many pet names, god…) · polyamory · member x member action (suggestive mostly, and explicit with reader included) · nothing about this piece is straight just like any Felix-centric piece should be honestly/j · graphic depictions of intercourse (smut warnings under the cut).
Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.
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Author’s Note: so… i woke up one day and this just… happened. most of it came out of me way too fast, and honestly i’m sure i was either possessed, maniac, or in a very intense moment of hyperfocus. anyway,  this piece is a bit different than what i usually do. i really wanted to challenge myself to write a poly relationship into my werewolf au and hyunlix just made sense to me. it was my first time writing such a dynamic–let alone a threesome–with this much detail, so i hope i did okay. regardless, i really like the direction this took, i’m really happy with it, and i hope the amount of member x member stuff doesn’t prevent anyway from enjoying this. as usual, don’t hesitate to let me know what you think💜 [special thanks to my one and only, my soulmate, and best friend for reading this before anyone else and providing her much valued insight]
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Smut Warnings: a foot goes on someone’s private parts (MxM) but it’s mild/just teasing and super short and probably mostly harmless to the point where i’m not even sure it counts as a smut warning but i prefer to be safe than sorry · oral (F&M.Rec) · breast/nipple play (F&M.Rec) · protected penetration [piv] · threesome · degradation (M.Rec. bitch, slut, etc are used) · face slapping (M.Rec) · some praising · snowballing. 
Disclaimer: the story represented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.
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Felix had never been much of a believer when it came to imprinting and soulmates. He was never much of a believer of anything, to be honest. There was no time to fill his head with the improbable when he had to spend all his energy trying to survive.
When he was very young, Felix was kicked out of his childhood pack. To this day, he still believed it had all been completely unfair, leaving a pup werewolf completely alone in the world to deal with all that distress. They claimed it was all for the best, that he was throwing off the ecosystem they had built in the pack, that he was being disrespectful. 
What did he do? He simply denied their alpha’s advances. Felix wouldn’t know exactly just how fucked up his childhood pack was until he eventually met other wolves, but even at the time his pack’s alpha’s claims that all betas and omegas were his to ‘use’ –yes, he would use exactly the word ‘use’–just sounded wrong to Felix. The man would always say that anyone that denied him would suffer the consequences. 
Felix was a pup, a child, and even if he didn’t know how fucked up it all was at the time, he just didn’t want to do it. So he fought back, he denied every single one of his alpha’s advances as swiftly and discreetly as he could, always worming his way out of it.
Eventually, though, the man found out. He realised Felix was defying his authority, and the moment he realised that, he held his power over Felix’s head. ‘If you won’t submit then you’ll have to leave and become a packless bastard’. 
The man was smug when he said it, Felix could still remember it as if it happened yesterday. How he was scared out of his mind, fighting every single instinct telling him to submit, but he stood his ground, uncaring of the consequences of his actions. ‘I won’t submit to you. Not now, not ever’. 
So his alpha delivered. Him and his goons kicked him out–not before giving him the beating of his life, of course. But the worst part was that Felix’s parents didn’t do anything to stop it. No one did. This man had ingrained his toxic, abusive dynamic of submission into his pack so heavily no one dared say a word.
So Felix was left alone in the world when he was barely even a teen. 
The first few weeks were tough. Oftentimes, he would shift into his wolf form and forage whatever he could to sustain himself; he spent so much time as a wolf that he’d sometimes forget he had a human side to him, too. Those moments wouldn’t last long, only a couple of seconds, but it always left him incredibly shaken when he could feel his humanity slipping between his fingers. 
After months of roaming and wandering on his own, Felix started to realise why wolves lived in packs. He thought it was all bullshit before, but being a lone wolf without a pack left one in a weird and fragile state of mind. It left one paranoid, volatile, mad, and although he wasn’t quite sure how the mysticism of it worked, he realised he wasn’t quite right in the head at the time.
And then he met Hyunjin. 
Felix truly never believed in imprinting and soulmates, but if such a thing existed, he was sure Hyunjin was his, or at least, that was how it felt at the time.
It happened in the forest. He had just turned fifteen, he’d spent years out there on his own by this point, and as Felix laid next to a stream, devouring the remnants of his hunt, he felt a presence.
Oddly enough, he hadn’t encountered another wolf this close in years, and the sudden appearance of one made him snarl, made his fur puff up, made him want to appear imposing and commanding as if he wasn’t a measly beta teen-wolf with no pack of his own.
The wolf did recoil a bit, but it didn’t leave, it just looked at Felix with a curious glint in its eyes. And after a few moments of no movement, when Felix’s instinct to fight subsided a bit, his mind cleared slightly. 
A quick sniff and he knew immediately. Another werewolf, and an omega at that. And maybe it was that last fact that made Felix relax just the smallest bit; if it came to it, he was sure he could take that omega in a fight and win.
The other werewolf approached him, tentatively, slowly, and for some reason, Felix didn’t move. It wasn’t that he felt scared or intimidated by them, he just… Didn’t feel threatened. So he let them come close. Not too close, though. 
They sniffed him, and Felix did the same, getting hit by their scent, a strange mix of apples and pears. It was… Nice. But then the werewolf was getting way too close for his comfort, so Felix growled at them, scaring them into running away.
As soon as they were gone, he wished he hadn’t growled at all. He should’ve snarled or attempted to nip, not full on growl the way he did. Regardless, the werewolf was gone, and Felix was left once again on his own.
At least for a while.
Felix remained in that forest, foolishly hoping to see that wolf again. And it was a few days later, as he laid next to the same stream, at the exact same place he had been before, that he heard the rustle of leaves. This time, though, it wasn’t a wolf that came from between the trees, it was a boy. A lanky boy, probably around his age, seemingly normal, if not for the fact that he smelt like apples and pears.
It was honestly almost pathetic how Felix’s tail started to wag as soon as he saw the boy. If the other asked, he’d blame it on how long he had spent all alone out here.
“Hey…” The boy approached him, slowly, with his hands in the air as if to show Felix that he meant no harm, and somehow, Felix believed it. “I’m Hyunjin. I saw you the other day…”
Felix just looked at him for a moment. When was the last time a person had spoken to him out of their own will? He’d spoken with street vendors and kiosk owners and gym attendants, but that was all transactional. This boy, this Hyunjin, was talking to him, directly, and it made him feel oddly giddy.
So Felix shifted back into his human form. How many days had it been since he stood on his legs? Too many, probably. If the aches he felt were anything to go by.
“I’m… Felix”, his voice cracked a bit. It had been doing that a lot these days. His voice seemed to be constantly dancing between a high and a low pitch, and he simply blamed it on puberty.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I was hoping I’d find you here again”, Hyunjin regarded him with a small smile, and he’d lie if he said it didn’t make his heart skip a beat. “Do you… Need any help?”
“I’m fine”, was he? Was he fine? Felix was used to his way of life, but did that mean he was fine? That was something he didn’t want to discuss with a stranger, though, so he settled for fine.
“You don’t look fine”, Hyunjin looked him up and down, and it made Felix scoff in return.
Sitting cross-legged on the grass, bare as he was, Felix stared at Hyunjin, mustering his most confident tone. “Maybe you should get your eyes checked, then”.
It was Hyunjin’s turn to scoff now. Nevertheless, he walked closer. Felix tensed a bit, not used to having people so close to him, but he let Hyunjin sit on the grass in front of him, keeping his fair distance.
“Your scent smells, like, super distressed. You know that, right?”
Felix felt himself flush at his words. No, he didn’t know that. He was super confident he was one hundred percent fine… Wasn’t he?
“Anyway, this might be a bit forward, and weird, but I got worried the other day when I saw you here. I’d never seen a lone wolf, much less one so young… Before I knew it, I was in this forest again looking for you”.
“How’d you know I was a lone wolf?” Felix asked him, slightly incredulous. 
Hyunjin shrugged, and he offered Felix a small smile. “You don’t have any trace of anyone else’s scent. Usually there’s a bit there from friends, family…”
Very quickly, Felix realised Hyunjin was… Nice. He had a way of talking that might’ve passed as rude to some people, and sometimes he was rude, especially because of the tone in his voice, but who wasn’t a bit rude these days?
Felix didn’t speak much that day, he simply listened to whatever Hyunjin had to say. He did have a pack, one he wasn’t particularly fond of. ‘Nothing too crazy, they just don’t like people like me’, he’d told Felix. He wasn’t entirely sure what Hyunjin meant by that, and he was too self-conscious that day to ask, so he filed it for later, either for when he found the courage to ask directly or for when Hyunjin had given him enough context clues for him to understand.
Hyunjin liked to draw, to paint, he was the pure embodiment of an artist, and the more he and Felix met in this spot in the forest, the more Felix got to see that side of him.
They met often, at least thrice a week. Hyunjin would always bring Felix food or clothes or puzzles to keep himself entertained. He eventually started to come with his art supplies, sitting in silence with Felix as he drew or painted something that he’d never let Felix see because he was too embarrassed. ‘It’s not good. I’ll show you when they’re good’.
Felix was sure whatever he did was amazing, but he didn’t push his friend. Because that was what Hyunjin had turned into after a couple of months meeting in the forest. A friend. It helped Felix feel like he belonged somewhere again. Even if it was just as a background character in Hyunjin’s life, he could feel his humanity slowly, but surely, coming back to him.
“Ugh, exams are the worst. I just don’t understand chemistry. What even is a mole anyway?” Hyunjin had been rambling about school a lot today, and Felix simply listened to him, lending him his ears to vent into.
“Wait, now that I think about it…” Hyunjin said after a while, looking away from his sketchbook. “What school are you going to?”
“I’m not going to school”, Felix kept his eyes focused on the Rubik’s cube in his hand, trying to figure out how to build one face of the cube without messing up the other.
“What?”
“I haven’t gone to school in years”, Felix shrugged. “I used to shift and sneak into this public school close to the town hall a few years back, so I did learn a bunch, but I couldn’t do it anymore after I started growing and my wolf form just wouldn’t pass as a dog anymore”.
Felix had told Hyunjin of his past, of everything that happened to him in his childhood pack. He could still remember the horrified look on his face as he told him. And honestly, Felix couldn’t blame him for being shocked and horrified by his story. The more he grew up, the more Felix understood the high levels of fucked up that pack’s structure had.
“Why don’t you go as a human?”
Felix scoffed at that, starting to get frustrated with the cube in his hand. “I tried. They require all that legal guardian shit. As you can imagine, my unfortunate lack of parents complicates that a bit”.
Hyunjin went quiet for a while, letting Felix fumble with the puzzle. Eventually, Felix heard the characteristic sound of pencil on paper, so he figured Hyunjin had gone back to sketching, with no intent on continuing the subject. That was, until…
“Want me to ask my parents?”
The Rubik’s cube fell on Felix’s lap.
“…What?”
“My parents”, Hyunjin repeated. “They can pose as your legal guardians. It wouldn’t be the first time a werewolf forges documents”, he added with a snort. Almost every single document a werewolf provided to human authorities was forged these days, so it wasn’t a particularly shocking statement.
However, what did shock Felix was Hyunjin’s proposal… Going back to school. Socialising with humans again after so long… Was he prepared for that? He wanted to learn, to pretend he had a normal life, maybe even… Make more friends? He’d never allowed himself to think about that too much, about going back to participate in the world outside of his little bubble in this forest.
“Would they even agree?” Felix’s voice was barely a whisper. He picked the cube back up from his lap and started to twist the faces again, trying to distract himself. “I don’t want them to… Know”.
Felix didn’t say it, but he was sure Hyunjin would understand. I don’t want them to know I’m a lone wolf. A packless failure.
“I’ll think of something”, Hyunjin mumbled, and if there was someone Felix trusted in this world to charm anyone into doing something, it was Hyunjin.
So that was how Felix managed to integrate into human society again. They both did some research, on public schools he could go to that’d take in someone so far behind, on possible scholarships he could apply to, on places to find school supplies… And as soon as they had all the necessary documentation, it was up to Hyunjin to get his parents to sign them.
It was hard to get used to at first. Felix got overwhelmed by the noise and the amount of people at school often, but he managed. In a couple of months he had gone from being a nobody, a lone wolf secluded to the woods, to being just some guy again, and only then did he realise how good it felt. To be seen, to be taken into account… And it was all thanks to Hyunjin.
During the day, Felix would go to school. In the afternoon, he started to volunteer at a soup kitchen in the area, helping feed those in need. The lovely lady that ran the place seemed to really like him, and she always appreciated the extra hands. ‘You’re so strong! Youth really does wonders for you, doesn’t it?’ She’d say often, and Felix simply chuckled in response, not really wanting to reveal that his strength had nothing to do with youth and all to do with his supernatural condition.
In return for his help she’d feed him, and eventually, Felix asked her to teach him how to cook. He found the act of cooking to come natural to him, he wasn’t sure if it had to do with his enhanced senses, but people would often compliment him on his food, and it made him feel proud. A feeling he hadn’t associated with himself in a long, long time–not to say never ever.
Felix still slept in the forest every night. He’d shift and curl into a fluffy ball of fur to keep himself warm. Hyunjin often offered him his home, or at least, his room, but Felix always declined. He didn’t want to be an inconvenience, and he was sure that Hyunjin’s parents wouldn’t appreciate him being there at all.
Felix only met the couple a few times, but that was more than enough for him to know that, even if he was grateful for their help, he simply didn’t like them. Just like Hyunjin didn’t, either. They were… Conservative. Because that was a thing, conservative werewolves.
‘They can’t accept the fact that I’m a male omega. Sometimes, I’m pretty sure they pretend like I’m not. That I’m a beta or something. And let’s not even talk about the fact that I like boys, too. They don’t know, know, but I’m sure they have noticed… They love to ignore that, too’, Hyunjin confessed to Felix after the first time he met them, after he couldn’t conceal the fact that he just hadn’t felt comfortable with the exchange, and Hyunjin’s words simply confirmed that first impression Felix had had of them.
Males were supposed to be alphas or betas, females were supposed to be betas or omegas, and other genders simply didn’t exist for them. Textbook homophobes, to put it simply. In this day and age… 
Felix knew, of course. Hyunjin didn’t hide his sexuality not even once since they met, and Felix was always grateful for that, because it helped him come to terms with his own. People were people, love was love, and no gender or designation would get in the way of that, that was their philosophy. Call it being bi, or pan, or fluid, or however you want. All Felix knew was that once he left the lone wolf in the forest, he was just full of love, ready to share it with the world, with whoever was consensually willing to receive it.
By the time Felix had turned eighteen, the line of his friendship with Hyunjin had blurred so much he wasn’t sure he could call him a friend anymore.
What he had with Hyunjin was much, much more than just friendship. Felix would often find himself holding his hand, or hugging him, or simply touching him, all without really thinking much about it.
Hyunjin did it, too. And although neither said anything, they both knew.
Eventually, their lingering touches started to turn much less platonic, less innocent. They turned into heated makeout sessions, into groping and desperately rutting and grunting against each other, into Hyunjin asking Felix to help him out during his heats as well… It felt natural, just like breathing, to be with one another. They were friends and lovers and soulmates and everything in between, and it was right how it was supposed to be.
Especially because, just like Felix, Hyunjin also believed that love was to be shared, to be enjoyed, so their open arrangement was perfectly designed for them. Felix wasn’t a jealous man, on the contrary, he was happy whenever Hyunjin was, so as long as they kept things clear and consensual and safe nothing else mattered.
At the end of the day, they’d always have each other, and possibly someone else–or simply other people, plural–to share their love with. Although, they’d usually do these things separately, considering Hyunjin’s tastes sometimes were what Felix could simply describe as questionable at best… He had fallen for Felix, after all.
Felix found himself a job in a local café. His very first real job. That was the place that finally gave him a second chance at finding a family, that was where he met Chris.
Chris worked at the café as a partimer, seeking some extra income to pay for his studies while he searched for a job in his field. Felix knew Chris was a werewolf as soon as he saw him, even before he got close enough to get a whiff of his scent.
The man just exuded alpha energy, and the moment he spotted Felix for the first time his eyes went wide with surprise, but he still gave him the widest smile right after, a genuine smile that made his eyes disappear into crescents and dimples to appear on his cheeks. Honestly, Felix wasn’t much of trusting alphas at first glance due to his past trauma, but Chris’ entire demeanour was way too welcoming for him to not trust him almost immediately.
They got acquainted pretty fast, maybe too fast. It was just too easy to fall into Chris’ antics, he was goofy and funny and kind and a bit fucked up in the head, but he was a good guy all in all. 
A few months of knowing Chris were enough for Felix to learn he led his own pack. He’d seen a couple of his pack members drop by the café, and they all seemed to be just as nice as Chris, which honestly didn’t surprise him. ‘It’s small, only four of us so far, but it’s great, honestly. Don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I am right now with them’, Chris had told Felix once, and he sounded truly proud of it.  
“What about your pack?” Chris asked one day while he cleaned the coffee machine. Closing time was nearing, and there were hardly any customers still within the place, so these were usually the times when they spoke anything related to their lycanthropy. “You never talk about them”.
“That’s because I don’t have one”, Felix replied simply, rearranging the display shelf for what seemed like the tenth time that day.
“You don’t have one?!” 
Felix shrugged. “I have Hyunjin”.
“Oh, but that’s something. Well, someone…”
Felix had told Chris about Hyunjin, not in detail, but he knew. It was impossible not to know when his scent was always lingering on Felix’s clothes.
“Yeah, but he’s in a pack of his own”, Hyunjin hadn’t found the courage to defect yet, and Felix honestly couldn’t blame him. He’d been trapped in this vicious circle of guilt with his parents that made it really difficult for him to detach himself from them, even when staying with them only made him hurt and get more frustrated as time passed.
Chris’ brows furrowed, clearly confused. “So… If he’s in a pack, but you have no pack… Where are you staying?”
“Oh, I sleep in the woods”.
“You do what?!” Chris’ question came out a bit louder than he had intended for sure, a couple of customers looked back at him with clear confusion on their faces, and Chris simply offered them a strained smile and an apologetic bow.
“I’ve been sleeping in the forest since I was a pup… I shift, find a decent moss bed, curl up in a nice little ball, and fall off to sleep”, Felix offered with a smile on his face. Over the years, he had honestly started to enjoy it. Of course it wasn’t ideal, of course he would’ve preferred to have a warm bed and a roof over his head, but he’d gotten so used to it, it kind of made him feel like he was balancing his human-ness and his wolf-ness pretty well.
Chris’ face went completely serious, with his hand still holding a rag around the steam wand of the coffee machine, completely motionless. After a few moments of shared silence, he spoke again. “Wanna join my pack?”
Felix choked on his spit, Chris’ proposition catching him completely off-guard. “…What?!”
“Wanna. Join. My. Pack”, Chris repeated, slowly stressing each word.
“I heard you, okay. Jeez… I’m… Not sure I’m suited for the pack life”, Felix looked away from Chris then, focusing on the very interesting and very stale pastry sitting on the display shelf.
Still, he could feel Chris’ searing gaze on his side profile, and when Felix got enough courage to look back at him, he saw Chris looking at him, deep in thought.
Returning his focus to the coffee machine, Chris finally looked away, but he kept talking. “Did I ever tell you why I wanted to lead a pack of my own?”
“No…”
“I wanted to… To build a safe space. For those of us that were tired of being judged or mistreated. There was a lot of that in my childhood pack, Changbin and I were sick of it. Jisung, too–you remember Jisung, right?” Felix just nodded, and Chris continued. “Minho didn’t have a pack, either. But his case was very… Peculiar. He can tell you himself if you do choose to join us. Lix, you… Are nice. And although I don’t know what happened to you, I’m sure it was a lot for you to have been living in the forest since you were so young. So… Think about it”.
And Felix did think about it.
He could barely get sleep that night just thinking about it. About the prospect of having a pack again. Chris had shown him many times that he was just a different breed of alpha altogether, whether he knew it or not, so Felix found himself genuinely considering it. But there was something he needed to do before he made that decision.
“Chris’ pack? He offered that?” Hyunjin’s eyes were wide, and his mouth fell slightly open in surprise.
“Yes. But…” Felix stretched his hand over the table, past his stack of freshly made waffles, finding Hyunjin’s and holding it tightly in his. “I want you to come with me”.
Hyunjin blinked, and suddenly averted his gaze, fixing it on their joined hands. “Lix, angel, you know I can’t…”
“Love, listen to me”, Felix squeezed his hand, trying to get Hyunjin’s attention back to his eyes. “You can. Jinnie, baby, they’re sucking the life out of you in there. You don’t owe them anything”.
Hyunjin’s eyes flickered between Felix’s, looking at his face intently. Until he eventually squeezed his hand and heaved a sigh again. “Do you even know if Chris would take me? He asked you to join, not me. He doesn’t even know me. I don’t know him”.
“I’ll ask”, Felix reassured him, reaching over the table with his free hand to tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear–he had been growing it these days, and Felix would lie if he said it didn’t make his heart flutter. “If you tell me you’ll consider it, I’ll ask, baby”.
Hyunjin simply nodded, bringing Felix’s hand to his lips so he could place a kiss on the back of it.
After much consideration, Hyunjin gave Felix the goahead. He wanted to defect, he wanted to detach himself from his parents as much as he could, and most importantly, he wanted to be able to be himself, openly. So, that afternoon, during his shift at work, Felix went to Chris to ask him about it.
“Would you consider taking Hyunjin in, too?” Felix asked him as soon as Chris came in through the door and stood behind the counter.
“Wow, what happened to ‘good afternoon’? What happened to ‘hello’?” Chris chuckled, washing his hands in the sink. “I’ll have to meet him first, though. But, if he’s anything like you, I’m sure it’ll be fine”.
“We… Don’t have much, you know that, right? I mean, I sleep in the woods for a reason. It’s cheap”.
“You mean it’s free?” Chris snorted, but he gave Felix a genuine smile after. “We’ll manage. That’s why we live in packs, don’t we? To help each other out”.
Felix stared at Chris for a few long moments. 
All of a sudden he felt a bit… Overwhelmed, to put it simply. He didn’t know what came over him, or why Chris’ words affected him like they did, but, after a few more moments of silence, he took a hold of Chris’ apron, looking down to the floor. “Chris, can I… Can I hug you?”
Felix had barely finished his question when Chris was already pulling him into his arms, cradling the back of his head and patting his back. Something snapped in Felix at that moment, he started to tremble, and he just couldn’t hold in the tears that had started to well in his eyes.
Chris didn’t say anything, he just hugged Felix tightly, and dear heavens if this man’s hugs weren’t the warmest and most comforting hugs Felix had ever felt. He knew it in his heart then, that he had made the right decision. That this was how having a Pack Alpha was supposed to feel like. Comfort, protection, warmth. Not whatever the fuck was happening in his childhood pack, not whatever the fuck was happening in Hyunjin’s pack, either.
The first night at Chris’ den was… Interesting. At the time, Chris was rooming with Changbin, and they had decided for Felix to spend the first nights here with them, or at least until Chris met Hyunjin and let him join the pack.
“I’ll take the sofa”, Chris told Felix as soon as they entered his flat.
“Nah, don’t worry, I’ll take it”, Changbin shouted from the kitchen, where he had been cooking dinner before Chris and Felix came in.
“No way. I’m not letting either of you take the sofa”, Felix intercepted immediately. “I’ve been sleeping on the ground for years, don’t worry about me, seriously. A sofa is a luxury at this point”.
Felix was used to saying these things out loud without thinking much about them, so he decided to ignore the apologetic look on Changbin’s face when he said that.
That night, while laying on the sofa, Felix did nothing but toss and turn. 
The sofa was great. Plush, comfortable, but he felt incredibly awkward. After one too many turns he finally decided to shift into his wolf form, curling in on himself on the sofa, and then he truly felt comfortable. It wasn’t that much different from a moss bed; the biggest upside was the fact that it was dry and warm here, so truly, for Felix, this was like a five star hotel at this point.
He’d no longer have to store his few belongings in gym lockers, or use gym showers, he’d no longer have to be aware of every single sound around him in case a hunter decided to come around the corner, or in case it started to rain, or in case one of the wild cats living in the area wanted to start a fight. As he drifted off to sleep, Felix truly, truly felt incredibly lucky.
Even the next day, when Felix woke up to the sight of Changbin’s smiling, swollen face, looking fondly at him still curled up on the sofa, he felt at ease, his wagging tail more than proof of that.
Now, getting Hyunjin to meet Chris, and for Chris and the other pack members to accept him was easy. Felix had no doubts in his mind that Chris and the others would like Hyunjin enough to let him join the pack as well. What was difficult was getting Hyunjin to defect.
He started gradually taking things out of his house. Important stuff, sentimental stuff, documents, anything of value. Hyunjin passed them all to Felix for Felix to keep them safe at the den. The idea was for every material thing he wanted to keep to be taken out before he spoke with his parents–if he spoke with his parents at all.
Hyunjin wasn’t sure yet… If he wanted to just disappear or if he wanted to confront them. He was sure they wouldn’t just let him leave, they’d try to convince him to stay with their impeccable emotional manipulation tactics, so he was leaning more towards the idea of leaving quietly.
All his plans went to shit when they saw him taking out the last bag of his belongings. Or at least, that was what he told Felix when he arrived a crying mess at the den.
The sight of Hyunjin crying his eyes out, the distress in his scent, it pulled at Felix’s heartstrings unpleasantly. He hated seeing him like this, he wished he could make it all better, make him smile again that charming smile of his. As soon as he saw him, Felix pulled Hyunjin into his arms, and Hyunjin started crying harder against his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably as the door to Chris’ flat closed behind him.
“What happened?!” Jisung asked as soon as he noticed Hyunjin’s state.
Hyunjin mumbled unintelligible nonsense against Felix’s shoulder, and Felix couldn’t help but bring a hand to his hair, trying to soothe him. “Shh, baby. It’s okay. Take your time…”
By the time Hyunjin had stopped crying the three of them sat on Chris’ sofa. Hyunjin gulped down the glass of water in his hand, and proceeded to blow his nose on a napkin Jisung had brought him.
“You told them that? Seriously?” Jisung softly caressed Hyunjin’s back, looking almost incredulous. “ ‘Your son is a fruity omega, deal with it’ has got to be the best coming out phrase of all time, honestly. You’re so badass”.
Hyunjin chuckled, blowing his nose again. “I was so angry when I said it. They were so angry when I said it. They started calling me names, saying I was an ungrateful bastard… And I just… Told them to fuck right off and left before they could even try to guilt trip me into staying”.
Felix brought a hand to Hyunjin’s chin, tilting his face towards him, offering him a smile. “You did it, baby. You’re free. We’re free”.
A small smile made its way onto Hyunjin’s lips as he looked back at Felix, his eyes were still a bit bleary and red, but they looked so, so full of hope, Felix couldn’t help but lean in and press a brief peck on his lips.
Jisung whined next to them, and when Felix turned to look at him he had a pout on his lips. “No kiss for me?”
“My God, Jisung. Not everything is about you”, Hyunjin sighed, sounding more like his usual self. He turned anyway, gripping Jisung by the cheeks with one hand and giving him a quick peck. An entirely platonic exchange, not uncommon between omegas, to be honest. “There. Happy?”
“Very!” Jisung was beaming, and it made Felix chuckle. “Welcome home”, he added, with a splitting smile on his face, pulling both Hyunjin and Felix into a hug.
Everything was smooth sailing from there. As smooth sailing as living in a pack of several traumatised werewolves can be. 
Throughout the years, Felix managed to finish his basic studies, he was no longer illiterate in the eyes of the human government, and he had found himself with a career goal. He wanted to be a chef. Preferably a pastry chef. Cooking was still, to this day, one of his biggest escapes. At first it was only regular food, then he started trying more complicated dishes, and eventually he found out how challenging baking could be.
His packmates were often the test subjects for every meal he cooked, especially Hyunjin, of course, who was there with him every step of the way, always supportive, always ready to give Felix an honest review of whichever concoction he had put together.
More people joined Chris’ pack, Seungmin, Jeongin… And eventually, by the time Felix was well into his twenties, came the girls. Or at least, some girls.
Chris’ current girlfriend came first, a human who took the place of Pack Mum before Chris even got the balls to confess his feelings for her… Then came Changbin’s girlfriend, an omega who also defected from her abusive pack and seeked comfort in the only other werewolf she knew. And of course, Minho’s best friend and now girlfriend, who had been coming to the den since Minho joined the pack. Felix liked to call her their honorary pack member, since she really didn’t live here, but she came and stayed over so often she was already like one of their own. 
Felix honestly would’ve never imagined his family would get so big. Because that was what this pack had become to him, the family he never truly had. He knew that he wanted to share his love, and here, with these people, he was able to share it more than ever–at least, his platonic love.
When it came to romance, it always went back to Hyunjin. Felix had dated a handful of people throughout the years. Humans, mostly–not to say exclusively. But things usually fell through when they simply couldn’t understand his relationship with Hyunjin. They always pretended they were okay with being in an open relationship, the reality was, they simply weren’t. So Felix often found himself breaking things off with people.
Hyunjin was a bit more lucky, he had a couple of serious relationships that actually lasted a fair amount of time. But ultimately, things would also fall through. Not because of his relationship with Felix, but simply because people change, their needs change, their wants change… And Hyunjin was one hundred percent sure of what he wanted, so as soon as any hesitancy came from the other party, ties were cut off.
Felix truly, truly never ever believed in imprinting and soulmates, but if such a thing existed, he was sure he now had two.
It simply happened one day, while going on a morning run with Hyunjin.
Every other weekend, very early in the morning, Felix and Hyunjin would go to the forest, to the same one Felix used to live in, to where they met for the first time. Felix found comfort in the place, the den was his home, but these woods were the place in which he was reborn, so he enjoyed coming here to connect with that part of himself every once in a while.
Hyunjin came just to spend some time with him, Felix knew it. He wasn’t overly fond of waking up early in the morning, but he never once complained. He understood how much it meant to Felix.
And in that place, was where they met you, too.
As Felix and Hyunjin drank from the clear stream, their ears perked up at the sudden rustle of leaves behind them. Slowly, another wolf came from between the trees, curiously eyeing them both.
Felix felt almost exactly the same way he did when he met Hyunjin for the first time, minus the excessive amounts of trauma he was dealing with back then.
They didn’t make any attempts to run or showed any hostility, since the wolf wasn’t showing any hostility, either. Very quickly they were enveloped by the scent of a werewolf, an alpha, just as the wolf came close to sniff them.
The wolf looked… Intrigued, more than anything. Their dark fur flowed with the gentle breeze passing by, and if Felix thought they were beautiful as a wolf, he wondered how they would look like as a human.
Hyunjin seemed to be in the same state Felix was, entranced, but before they knew it, the wolf took off into the woods again, gone out of their sight.
“So, uhm… I didn’t imagine that, right?” Hyunjin said a while later, as soon as he shifted back into his human form and tugged his jeans up his legs. “Who was that?”
“Dunno. You certainly didn’t imagine it”, Felix slid his plaid shirt on, slowly doing each button. “It felt kinda like…”
“Like when we met”, Hyunjin finished, slipping his shoes on. “Without the ‘growling at me and scaring me to death’ part”.
Felix chuckled, finishing with his clothes.“You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”
“Never, sweetheart”, Hyunjin winked at him, slinging an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. “You’ll have to be making up for it for the rest of your life!”
“You’re so dramatic sometimes…”
That night, though, Felix could only think about the encounter. He wondered how he could find that wolf again, Hyunjin had told him earlier to simply let things flow, just like he did when he met Felix for the first time. If it was meant to be, you’d meet again.
And you did meet again, although not exactly in the way Felix had hoped for. 
Felix loved his job, he loved baking, and decorating cakes, and working at this bakery specifically. It was fun, especially on days like these, with orders like these. A basic marbled cake, frosted with white and green buttercream, with the words ‘congrats on the sex’ written on it.
He wasn’t usually the one giving the customers their orders, but they were a bit understaffed today, so he brought it out as soon as he was called for it. Thankfully, it was quite slow at this time, so there was only one person waiting by the counter.
Felix called for the customer in the receipt anyway, and that same person perked up, looking at him. As soon as your eyes landed on his, he felt immediate familiarity, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint why.
“So, your cake’s ready. Please check and make sure it’s all to your liking”, Felix fell into his customer service persona anyway, it was hard not to, he practically spoke in autopilot at this point whenever he was behind the counter.
“Looks good”, you mumbled once you took a brief look at the cake. “How much do I owe you?”
“Well, says here you paid half upfront, so here’s the remaining amount”, Felix signalled to the register, and you started to take cash out of your bag. 
What an odd interaction. He felt like there was something on the tip of his tongue the entire time, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was missing something.
“Here you go”, you handed him the money, and Felix pressed buttons on the register, getting it to open and giving you the necessary change once he had deposited the bills inside. 
You took the box and turned around to leave. Felix’s brows furrowed, confused, but he didn’t say anything.
However, you turned back around, so fast Felix almost jumped on the spot when you placed the cake back down on the counter. “Were you in the forest the other day?”
Felix was completely caught off guard, but he recognised you then. The alpha from the forest. “That was you?” He lowered his voice, making sure the other lingering customers didn’t eavesdrop the conversation.
“Yes! I’ve been… Uh… This is gonna sound super weird, I’m sorry, but I’ve been looking for you, although I’m not really sure why exactly”, your brows furrowed, and Felix almost wanted to reach over the counter and smooth it out with his thumb.
“Me, too. Well, us, too”, a couple of customers came into the store, and Felix offered them friendly smiles and a quick greeting before turning his eyes back to you. Taking a napkin from the holder on the counter and a pen, he scribbled his phone number quickly, signing it with his name. 
“Text me… If you want”, he added once he handed you the paper.
You looked at the napkin in your hand, then carefully folded it and placed it in your back pocket, giving him a “sure thing, Felix” with a smile on your face as you took your cake. “Have a nice day!”
Work couldn’t go any slower after that encounter…
“A female alpha?” Hyunjin asked as soon as Felix started telling him the story, when Felix had finally made it home and slid inside the bathtub to join him.
“So it seems. Well, they didn’t really tell me their gender or anything, but they were certainly female presenting… A lot of… Cleavage and stuff”, Felix had been too confused earlier to focus too much on it, but now that his mind was a bit clearer, he was remembering… Things. 
“What are the odds… An alpha for a beta and an omega”, Hyunjin leaned back on his end of the tub, extending one of his legs a bit, and immediately, Felix felt the pressure of the ball of Hyunjin’s foot on his length.
Quirking a brow, he looked at Hyunjin with a smirk on his lips.
“Are you trying to rile me up, my sweet prince? Trying to distract me with your low tactics?” Felix chuckled from where he was leaning on his end of the tub, taking a hold of Hyunjin’s heel and pulling him further against him.
“Question is, when am I not, my love?” Hyunjin gave him a smug smile, and it was just as he was about to say something again that Felix’s phone rumbled from where he had left it on the toilet lid. He looked at Hyunjin, and Hyunjin looked right back at him. Before Felix could say anything, Hyunjin was already stretching his arm, taking the phone, and looking at the notification. 
“It’s them”, Hyunjin urged, handing Felix the phone to read the message.
> Unknown Number: hey > it’s me, from the bakery > the ‘congrats on the sex’ cake? > anyway > would you like to go for coffee sometime?
“They could’ve just said ‘the alpha from the forest’, to be honest”, Hyunjin chuckled, still amused by the cake story.
“What should I tell them?” Felix was suddenly nervous. Why was he nervous? He’d done this before. Hell, he wasn’t even the one asking the other out… Was this even a date? 
“Say yes! Give them a date and a time”, Hyunjin urged, nudging him with his foot.
“Are you coming, though?”
“I think you should meet them first”, Hyunjin replied confidently. “I’m intrigued, but you already met them, and you know we usually don’t… Like the same type of people. I really think you should meet them first. See if they are nice, and if they are and you want something with them, see if they’re comfortable with… You know. Us”.
So Felix replied then, a short ‘brunch tomorrow. 11am?’ to which you gave him a positive answer and the name of a café he had been to before, so he knew where to go. All details which he gave Hyunjin immediately.
“That’s great, baby!” He nudged Felix with his foot again, making the other smile. “Now, come here. I want you to absolutely destroy me”.
Felix couldn’t help but chuckle. “Needy, are we?” But he moved anyway, leaning forward to kiss Hyunjin properly.
The next day, while Felix anxiously bounced his leg as he sat at one of the tables in the café, he felt oddly nervous. He reasoned it was because you were a werewolf. Felix had truly only dated humans before, the only werewolf he’d ever been with was Hyunjin–he did shoot his shot at Changbin once when he started to live at the den, but to this day he was sure Changbin hadn’t even registered it, so he let it go. 
“Hey”, you regarded Felix with a smile as soon as you saw him, taking a seat in front of him. God, Felix hadn’t realised yet, but you smelt like the forest. Like pine and the moss beds he used to sleep on, and it almost knocked the air right out of his lungs.
“So”, Felix started once you both had procured your respective coffees and sandwiches. “The woods, huh? Never seen you around before”.
“You go there often? Never seen you around, either”, you replied between bites of your food, and Felix gave you a nod in responde, not wanting to discuss why he went to the woods in the first place. “I go there often, too. My sisters like to hangout around the place. I was looking for one of them when I saw you guys”.
“You got sisters? Never seen any other werewolf there that wasn’t Hyunjin, now you…”
“Hyunjin? That’s the other wolf you were with?” Felix just nodded again, and you continued. “Well, my sisters aren’t werewolves, that’s why. I’m, uh… My pack is not exactly… Conventional”.
“Oh?” Felix couldn’t help but quirk a brow. “I’m intrigued”.
You gave him a sheepish smile, taking a sip of your coffee right after. “Werecats, werejackals, werebats… It’s a very odd pack, we’re all a bit different. I’m the only werewolf in it, actually”.
Felix’s jaw went slack, completely in shock. “…Come again?”
“Uh, well, there are two werecats, one werejackal, two werebats, and we might be integrating a vampire soon, actually. Not the same thing as a werebat, by the way”.
Felix just blinked, and you gave him an almost shy smile. “Damn, it’s like you’re collecting otherworldlies”, Felix chuckled, dragging his fingers through his hair and leaning back on his chair.
“Yeah, well… We got fed up and decided to stick together”, you offered simply.
“All girls?”
“Nah. Some of us, like me, don’t care about gender at all. Some girls, some boys, some non-conforming… You know…” You eyed him intently, almost as if you were trying to test his stance on the matter, and it had him chuckling.
“Oh, I know”, he replied, with a genuine smile on his face. 
You seemed satisfied with his answer, and that, for some reason, made him feel giddy.
That was when you truly started to open up. You were just a bit older than him, you worked at your late parents’ antique and oddities shop, it had been left in your care once they passed away, and your den was located right above it. ‘Got the entire building for ourselves! I’m honestly glad my parents were careful enough to leave me everything they had to their name. I don’t know where I’d be if they hadn’t…’
You were very moralistic, and blunt, and honestly? Really hot. Felix was listening intently to everything you were telling him, he really was. But he could also multitask, so admiring your attributes while he listened was going incredibly well for him.
“What about you, though?” You asked eventually, taking a sip of your now cold coffee. 
Felix shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m a baker, as you probably inferred. I have a mostly werewolf pack, but we’ve got a few humans as well”.
“Your alpha allows humans in their den?” You asked, a bit incredulous, and Felix really laughed out loud at the thought of Chris not allowing humans at his den, all things considered.
“He does. Actually, my pack’s alpha is head over heels for his human girlfriend. Any moment now they’re gonna mate and or get married, I’m sure”.
“And you? Hyunjin?” Ah, there it was. It was time to speak about That.
“Hyunjin’s my mate”, Felix replied honestly, confidently looking you in the eyes. “And just to clarify, I don’t mean a mate as a friend. He’s my mate mate. We’ve been mates for years. But… We’re in an open relationship”.
“Oh?” You leaned back in your seat, and the curious glint in your eyes gave him some hope. “Never heard of polyamorous mates before. Does it really work for you guys?”
“It does. We’re both just… Two guys who love each other, and want to share our love with other people, too”, and they were. They truly, truly were, and Felix believed this one hundred percent. “It’s all about trust and consent and all that, you know?”
“Oh, I know…” Your fingers tapped the table. 
You looked at Felix for a moment, the air was suddenly heavy between you two, thick with something intense, alluring, and Felix could feel the hairs at his nape stand on end when you leaned on the table, resting your elbows on it. “So… If I take you home right now, and fuck your brains out, your mate won’t mind?”
Blunt. Forward. Very much an alpha, you were.
“My mate was the one who urged me to text you back last night”, a smirk made its way onto his lips, and he leaned forward on the table as well, matching your stance. “What about you, though? You’re an alpha. Wouldn’t it bother you? To know I’m also someone else’s? To share?”
“I’m not a possessive alpha. Not like that at least”, you licked your lips, and Felix’s eyes followed the movement like a hawk. “Like you said… It’s all about consent, and trust, and all that”.
“Exactly…”
You stared at him, and Felix stared right back. In your eyes, all dark and clouded with need, he could see it all. In your scent, he could smell it all. Arousal, lust, want… It was honestly almost comical how fast the both of you stood up from your chairs. The bills had been paid for already, so you simply slung your bag over your shoulder and took Felix’s hand, tugging him out of the café.
“My place is close by”, you told him simply, and he followed you without hesitation.
“Isn’t it dangerous for you to show me where you live on a first date?” Felix teased you as soon as you both made it to your building’s entrance–it was more a door than an entrance, but he figured the term still worked.
“I don’t know why, but my instincts tell me I can trust you, Lee Felix”, you said as you started to climb the stairs, and Felix followed right behind you, not even pretending like he wasn’t staring at your ass the entire time. “But anyway, what would you do to me? I could probably snap you in half”, you grinned at him as soon as you made it to your door, hastily getting your keys from your bag and unlocking it.
“You wouldn’t dare! Who’d take care of my Hyunjin if I’m gone?” Felix bit back, stepping into your home.
As soon as the door closed behind him, you pushed Felix against it, pressing your whole body against his own, and that look in your eyes truly reminded him that you were an alpha, that you were very much capable of snapping him in half, and that he’d gladly let you fuck him silly at any time of day.
“Well, if he wants, I can take care of him no problem. I honestly haven’t been able to stop thinking about his apple and pear scent”, you caged him against that door, with your hands at either side of him. “But then again, I also haven’t been able to stop thinking about yours”.
Before Felix could even attempt to respond, your lips were on his. Warm, slightly chapped from the cold air outside, but still moist with your saliva, and his entire body came alight. You tasted like coffee and bread and like the sweetest nectar he’d ever drunk. 
Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as your tongue made its way inside his mouth, devouring him, and he simply took it, pushing his tongue against yours and holding your waist tightly. Felix wasn’t sure if it was the influence of your alpha scent, if it was the fact that you were a werewolf, or the fact that you’d met in the forest, right where he had met Hyunjin, his forever mate, making his brain jump to conclusions, but truly, Felix had only ever felt this ravenous with him before this moment.
“Are you clean of anything?” You asked as soon as your lips disconnected, starting a trail of kisses all the way from his mouth to his neck, licking and sucking on his pulse point, making him whine.
“Yes”, Felix replied simply, slightly breathless, because it was the truth. He got checked regularly, as did Hyunjin.
“Good. Me too”, with that, you dropped to your knees, swiftly undoing his belt, popping open the button of his jeans and opening his zipper. God, he was so hard already, how had he gotten this worked up just by a few minutes of kissing?
It was really hard for him to care at all as you mouthed his length over his underwear. “Let me know if you want to stop at some point, okay? You say stop and I’ll stop. Promise”.
Felix nodded, his eyes fixed on yours as you palmed him. You squeezed him over the fabric, and he was starting to lose it, truly. “Say it, Felix. Say you understand”.
“I–I understand”, saliva had pooled in his mouth, so he swallowed, getting lost in your sinful stare. Felix was usually the one taking the lead, but right now, there was nothing he wanted more than to let you do with him as you pleased, and by that look in your eyes, he was almost certain that was what you wanted, too.
“That’s it. What a good boy”, you smiled at him, a genuine smile that made your eyes disappear, a complete contrast to the way you pulled his underwear down, letting his cock spring free from its confinements.
As soon as you took his length into your warm, wet mouth, he just couldn’t help himself, the moan that left his lips was almost pathetic to his ears, but he didn’t care. Felix let his head fall against the door, lost in the feeling of your warmth around him, on the obscene slurping sounds filling his ears, on the smell of the forest surrounding him completely, making him tremble where he stood.
When was the last time he had had sex with a stranger? But then again, somehow, you didn’t feel like a total stranger, you felt familiar, almost as if he had known you for a long, long time. 
“So fucking good with your mouth–Fuck!” The feeling of your throat around him was too much, you were working him up way too quickly, he had to focus really hard to hold it all in. Maybe it was the mix of your entire being–your scent, your values, your tits that looked absolutely amazing in that low top–or maybe it was the new experience that had him so heated, but he’d usually be able to go longer than this, he had stamina goddamn it.
You pulled away from his cock with a lewd pop, replacing your mouth with your hand, pumping him fervently. Sweet, sweet torture… “It’s okay, puppy. You can come. I’m not done with you, though. You can come and then I’ll work you up all over again, hm?”
Felix nodded, frantic, his eyes jumping from your hand working his cock to your face, to your eyes staring right into him. As soon as you took him back into your mouth he was gone. “Shit, fuck… You’re seriously… I’m gonna come, fuck…”
You bobbed your head once, twice, thrice, and then his mind went blank. An assortment of swears and grunts and moans flew past his lips as he shot his load down your throat, and you kept blowing him through all of it, even when he stopped coming, bringing him to the brink of oversensitivity.
“Shit, wait, too much…” He whined, writhing against the door. For a moment, he thought you wouldn’t stop, he honestly wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t. 
But thankfully–or regretfully, he couldn’t decide…–you took pity on him, finally letting him fall from your mouth and staring up at him with a satisfied smile on your face as you looked at him taking deep breaths. When you stood on your feet and kissed him again, Felix really started to feel lightheaded, drunk on your scent, on his own taste on your tongue.
“You okay?” You asked, and it seemed like you genuinely cared, which honestly made his heart flutter.
“More than okay, holy shit”, Felix replied between kisses, making you chuckle. You instructed him to take his t-shirt, his shoes, his jeans and underwear off, and he did it without hesitation.
“Come here, pup”, you tugged him away from the door, walking a few strides and pushing him to sit on the sofa, straddling him as soon as he was seated. 
His hands came to rest on the curve of your ass, and before his hazy mind could register the movement, you had already tugged your shirt and your bra away from your body. His mouth watered at the sight of your breasts falling into their natural place, and right there, sitting on top of him, you truly, truly looked like a goddess.
“Felix”, your hand came to his nape, caressing his skin softly. “You seem to be very focused on my chest. Just like you were yesterday”, shit, he had been caught, but honestly, he couldn’t find it in him to care at all.
“How could I not? Shit, look at these”, he moved his hands to cup your tits, squeezing them gently. You allowed him to do it for a few moments, but then you took a hold of his hands, placing them on your ribs, right below your breasts.
“Wanna suck on them, pup?” You kept his hands pressed to your skin, and he immediately nodded, sucking you eagerly when you pulled his face to your breasts.
He didn’t know how long he spent with his mouth attached to your chest while you rolled your hips to get some friction from his already hardening length. All he knew was that when you came from the attention he was giving to your tits, from the grind of your still clothed core against him, the sound of your moans and your soft praises had him almost coming again.
That afternoon, after you took him from that sofa to your room, after you slid a condom on his cock and rode him until he couldn’t take it anymore, Felix left your flat all levels of fucked out of his mind, with a promise of another date, and an almost bashful ‘you think Hyunjin would like to meet me?’
As soon as he was back home, he made his way to his bedroom, finding Hyunjin propped on the headboard of the bed with a sketchbook and a pencil in his hands. 
Felix plopped on the bed, sighing contently, and Hyunjin immediately chuckled in response.
“Jinnie, baby. You have to meet her, seriously”, Felix turned to his side and propped himself on his elbow, looking at Hyunjin.
“You think I’d like them?” His mate asked with a chuckle, barely even looking up from the piece he was working on.
“I’m sure you will, shit…”
Hyunjin agreed to meet you, so Felix gave him your contact, and in a couple of days, you two went on a date.
Felix wasn’t sure why he felt so incredibly excited at the prospect of you and Hyunjin going on a date. Maybe it was the fact that they both hardly ever found a common partner, and he was sure he’d enjoy his relationships much more if Hyunjin could be involved.
So he laid on his sofa that day, playing games on his phone and waiting for Hyunjin to come back home.
It was getting dark by the time Felix heard the tell-tale signs of a key going into the keyhole. Hyunjin stepped into the flat with languid steps, dropping his bag on the floor right by the entrance and making his way to the sofa. Felix fixed his gaze on him, looking at his every move. His hair was tousled, his shirt wrinkly and barely even tucked into his jeans, and Felix could’ve sworn he was limping a bit.
Finally, Hyunjin plopped on the other end of the sofa, slouching and staring at the ceiling, and Felix slung his legs over Hyunjin’s lap. He was silent for a while, but Felix didn’t push him, he simply kept quiet and waited for Hyunjin to gather his thoughts. 
“Holy shit”, were the first words coming out of Hyunjin’s mouth, just as he brought a hand to softly caress Felix’s calf. 
“How’d it go?” Felix couldn’t hold back any longer. He needed to know.
Hyunjin gestured in front of his chest, with his eyebrows high on his face. “Tits. Shit…” 
Felix snorted at the comment, amused by the daze his partner was in. “I know, right?”
“That wasn’t normal, Lix”, Hyunjin finally looked at him, with an indecipherable glint of something in his eyes. “I’ve been with alphas before, but whatever that was went completely beyond that”.
“It kinda felt like…” Felix started, unsure if he should say it. 
But Hyunjin clearly decided to say it instead. “Like when we’re together”. 
“It’s crazy, though. We barely know them”, Felix was trying to find a logical explanation, anything factual, and not based on folklore. 
Hyunjin snorted. “Darling, we’re dogs. What does it matter? Shouldn’t we follow our instincts? How many people can say they’re as lucky as us? I can’t believe we finally found a common match”, he carded his fingers through his hair, slumping further in his seat.
“So, that means that you’d like to… Include her? Like… The three of us being a thing?” 
“After what I experienced today? Hell fucking yes”, Hyunjin chuckled. “As long as they want to. It’s all a bit… New”.  
“Mm, it is”, Felix finally sat down on the sofa, sitting close to Hyunjin and dropping his head on his shoulder. The mix of his and your scent on his clothes had his heart doing somersaults in his chest. 
Dating you was… Interesting. At first, you’d go on dates separately, either you and Hyunjin, or you and Felix, the three of you just getting used to one another. Until one day, finally, the three of you went out together. 
Felix found it incredibly exhilarating, walking around with an arm around Hyunjin’s waist while holding your hand. It all felt just so… Natural. Easy. Just like it had been when Felix and Hyunjin started to get really close, when they figured out what they meant to each other.
It was all just so much fun, and he was having the time of his life. 
Eventually, you needed to meet Chris. If Hyunjin and Felix wanted you to come over, they needed to make sure that their pack’s alpha approved of your presence at the den, and, honestly, Felix respected Chris way too much to not follow this rule, especially because it was one of the very few ones they had at all.
Chris was a bit guarded when you came to his flat to meet him for the first time. He was super stiff, and a bit more stoic than usual. Felix was sure it wasn’t the fact that you were an alpha per se, but the fact that you were an alpha that just wouldn’t stop shamelessly checking his girlfriend out, and it was probably triggering his instincts.
Felix had told you of their relationship before, but maybe he should’ve been a bit more explicit on how looking at her Like That could possibly bring your chances of coming and staying here to absolute zero. 
Hyunjin had noticed, too. And he had been trying his best to distract you enough so you would stop. It wasn’t until Chris’ girlfriend excused herself for a moment, when Chris left the room and followed her, that both Felix and Hyunjin lunged at you. 
“Darling, please. I’m begging… Stop checking her out. Chris is very possessive of our dear mother”, Felix urged, speaking as low as he could. 
“Oh my God. Was it obvious?” You sounded genuinely distressed about it, and it made Hyunjin facepalm himself. 
“Of course it was fucking obvious! You’re not exactly the epitome of discreet, love”, Hyunjin whispered-shouted.
“Shit, I didn’t mean to… I honestly have zero intentions with her. She’s just… Hot. Looks so…” You made squishing motions with your hands. You really didn’t need to say it, their pack’s mother was certainly very soft and squishable, Felix often found himself going for hugs or cuddling, so he understood, but his relationship with her was entirely familial, completely different to what you were doing right now, and it would never trigger Chris’ nature–unless the man was close to his rut, but those were technicalities…
“I’m just… Admiring, you know? Can you blame me?” 
“No”, Hyunjin sighed, dragging his hand over his face. “But please stop looking at her like that. If there’s anyone off limits at this den, it’s her”. 
You pouted, looking slightly annoyed, but you nodded regardless, finally taking a deep breath. “I know you guys are right… I’ll do my best not to start any fights over pretty girls here. No promises, though…”
When Chris and his girlfriend came back, your staring had finally stopped. Regardless, when they returned, Chris held onto his girl like the most obnoxious koala, and as usual, she didn’t seem phased at all by this. 
You gave Chris a bit of context on your life. Your den, your pack, but most importantly, you told him the values and foundations of your pack, which were very similar to Chris’ own. That, added to the fact that you stopped looking at his girl, had seemed to soften his entire demeanour.
“They can stay”, Chris told Hyunjin and Felix that same evening after you left. “They seem nice and I like what she’s doing with their pack”. 
Felix heaved a sigh, feeling immensely relieved. At least, until Chris spoke again. 
“But, respectfully, tell her to fucking stop looking at my girlfriend like that. At least when I’m around. It fucks up with my head, and it’s incredibly unpleasant, okay?”
Chris didn’t sound particularly angry, mostly just annoyed. Felix knew you wouldn’t make any real advances towards his girlfriend, just like Chris probably knew you wouldn’t, either. Not to say how they all knew his girl just wouldn’t even acknowledge any potential advance. Hell, Felix doubted she even noticed you were looking at her like that at all, she only ever seemed to register Chris in that regard.
But at the end of the day, just like Hyunjin often said, they were dogs, and they often had to fight their animalistic instincts with an insane amount of human self control, which could honestly get quite tiring.
With the approval of their alpha, you started to regularly come to their den–more specifically, to Hyunjin and Felix’s flat, of course. You wouldn’t spend the night that much, though, which was completely understandable. After all, you had a den of your own to attend to. 
Some nights, Felix wished he could be snuggled between you and Hyunjin, he wondered how that would be like quite often. 
When he told Hyunjin about this, he simply chuckled and said ‘we’d need to get a bigger bed, then. You and I can barely fit on ours’, which honestly sounded like an amazing idea to Felix, but Hyunjin shattered his fantasy when he added, ‘how would you be snuggled between us if you love to sleep at the foot of the bed, though?’ which was also an excellent point on his part…
Regardless, you came over often, to meet Hyunjin if he was there, to meet Felix if he was there, or to meet them both if they were both there. It didn’t really matter, you just dropped by and spent time with either or both and left your scent everywhere and Felix honestly loved it more than he could’ve ever imagined. There was hardly anything that made him as happy as the mix of your scent and Hyunjin’s all over him, it made him feel giddy, and warm, and loved.
“That’s it, Lixie, baby… You’re doing so well…”
The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room. Kneeling on the sofa, with one hand on your hip, the other fondling one of your breasts, and his chest firmly pressed to your back, Felix buried his face in the crook of your neck, moaning against your skin as you kept pushing your hips back to meet his thrusts. He felt just so drunk on your scent, on the feel of your ass hitting his pelvis, and the tight grip of your walls around his cock.
“You smell so… Good, fuck…” Sweat collected at his temples, he rolled your nipple between his fingers, making you moan, the sound turning to a blissed chuckle.
“You do, too, pup. Fresh… Like petrichor”, you told him simply, pushing your hips back harder, faster.
How many times had this sofa seen you two fuck in the past handful of months? Felix wasn’t sure, but he was sure it hadn’t been enough, he needed more of it. He loved doing it here, right in the living room. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the fact that your scent would linger in the fabric after you left and he’d get to smell it for days after when laid down.
Suddenly, you stopped moving, and Felix instinctively stopped moving as well as the sound of his front door opening reached his ears.
Okay, maybe it could also be the fact that Felix knew Hyunjin loved coming back home to the sight of his partners having sex that made him enjoy fucking on this sofa so much.
“You guys are fucking without me?” Hyunjin dropped his belongings at the entrance, pouting, quickly making his way to the sofa.
You chuckled, pressing a kiss on his lips once Hyunjin kneeled in front of you, wrapping his arms around you and Felix, sandwiching you between them. “You were taking too long to come home, Jinnie”.
“Too long, sweetheart”, Felix let go of your breast to grip the collar of Hyunjin’s shirt, pulling him in for a kiss, too.
Hyunjin sighed, burying his face in the crook of your neck, while Felix did the same on the other side. “Got caught up at work…”
“You work too hard, honey”, you told him, wrapping one of your arms around his waist, pulling him further into you, striking a normal, almost domestic conversation as if your walls didn’t have a vice grip on Felix’s length.
“Did you at least manage to fix that part of the mural you didn’t like?” Felix asked, caressing Hyunjin’s hair, continuing the conversation as if he wasn’t rock hard inside of you.
“I did…” Hyunjin pressed his nose to your pulse point, inhaling deeply, audibly, and it made you chuckle.
“Wanna join us? Or are you gonna stay there and watch?” Felix could feel his cock twitch when you asked that, and honestly, either option sounded exactly like absolute heaven to him.
“Have to clean up, I’m covered in paint”, Hyunjin finally detached himself from your neck, looking between you and Felix with a sad pout on his lips. “You guys go on, I’ll join you after a shower”.
With a quick kiss to both of you, Hyunjin hurriedly retreated to the bathroom.
Felix attached his lips to your shoulder, peppering your skin with kisses as you took a hold of both of his hands and brought them to your chest. “Wanna keep going, Lix? Or do you need a break?”
He squeezed your breasts, trapping your nipples between his fingers, and the way you clenched around him with the motion had him salivating, truly making him feel like a dog. Like a really horny dog. “Let’s keep going. Or I’ll die”.
Reaching behind to take a hold of his hair, you turned your head, finding Felix’s lips for a heated kiss. As soon as your hips started to push back against him again, he groaned, the sound getting lost in your mouth while you held him tightly in place, ravishing his mouth.
Tugging his head back a bit, your lips attached to his jaw, the lack of your mouth on his own let his blissed grunts and groans and moans spill freely out of his mouth. He quickened his pace, and you immediately matched the rhythm. Between your scent and the sounds you were making and the slapping of skin and the delicious feel of you wrapped around him Felix started to feel lightheaded, he’d been so close to coming so many times throughout the entire evening he was sure he’d explode at any moment.
“Darling… I’m so, so close”, Felix couldn’t help but groan as soon as you started to move even faster, holding his hair tighter.
“Come whenever you want, sunshine”, when you kissed him again, when you started to rub circles on your clit and clenching so, so tightly around him, Felix knew he was done for, he wouldn’t last much longer.
Holding your hips and burying his face in the crook of your neck to get close to your pulse point, he snapped his hips as hard as he could, chasing that sweet, sweet relief, and as soon as he took in a deep breath and your scent engulfed him fully, his mind clouded.
“Fuck, fuck, Lixie, baby…” A growl resonated from deep within your chest as soon as you got your release, it made him shiver, and coupled with the feeling of your walls clenching repeatedly around his length was enough to send him over the edge. 
Felix came with a deep, low growl, shooting his load into the latex. A low rumble started to resonate within him as he kept coming, and it remained even after your cunt had milked the very last drop. 
“Aww, you’re rumbling. What a cute little pup you are”, you chuckled, slightly breathless.
Felix felt himself flush. Taking a hold of the condom at the base to secure it in place, he carefully pulled out of you, tying a knot and dropping the soiled latex on the floor to pick it up later. He plopped on the sofa, panting a bit, still rumbling, and he couldn’t help but scoff.
“And what about it?” 
“Nothing”, you laid on top of him, kissing his cheeks, making him flush further. “You’re just really cute”.
“‘Course I am…” Felix mumbled, wrapping an arm around your waist and holding you close.
You just chuckled, pressing a loud, brief kiss on his lips.
After a quick moment of hydration, and as soon as Hyunjin was out of the bathroom, you and Felix pulled him into the bedroom, pushing him to the bed, not even giving him a chance to dry himself properly. You kissed Hyunjin fervently, just as Felix sucked love bites on his neck, eliciting a whimper from his mouth.
“Darling…” Hyunjin mumbled against your lips, trying to get your attention. “Want to… Would you let me…” With Felix’s languid strokes on his cock, Hyunjin could barely speak, and it had Felix growing impossibly harder against the curve of Hyunjin’s ass.
“What do you want, puppy?” You brought a hand to his chest, toying with one of his nipples, making him whine.
Hyunjin swallowed thickly, pushing his hips back against Felix’s length. “You… Want to taste you, please”.
“You want a taste?” You quirked a brow, pinching his nipple harder, making him swear and rut his hips harder against Felix. “What do you think, Lixie? Should I give our dear omega what he wants?”
Felix chuckled softly, licking the shell of Hyunjin’s ear, quickening the pace of his hand around Hyunjin’s length, reducing him to a whiny mess. 
“He asked nicely, baby. Our Jinnie has had a hard day today, haven’t you, love?” Felix asked, and Hyunjin simply nodded in response, burying his face in the crook of your neck to get as much of your scent on him as he could. “I think he deserves a treat. Don’t you?”
“Are you turning soft on me now, Lixie?” You chuckled, but you pulled yourself away from Hyunjin anyway. He whined in protest, and you hushed him gently. “But I agree. Today our prince gets what he wants”.
Hyunjin hardly ever didn’t get what he wanted. Just that sometimes, what he wanted wasn’t for you and Felix to pamper him. Most times, he wanted to be ruined, to be played and toyed with however you and Felix pleased, to do whatever you wanted to him. Today didn’t seem like one of those days, so Felix didn’t see any reason to not give him what he asked for, just like you didn’t seem to, either.
Sitting against the headboard, you sat with your legs open, and Hyunjin immediately scrambled to get close to your core. The moment his tongue made contact with your skin, he groaned, and you bit your lip, looking at his every move. Felix just placed his hand on the back of Hyunjin’s head, softly caressing the strands as he enjoyed the sight of his tongue licking you, of his plump lips sucking on you.
“Baby…” You made grabby hands towards Felix, and he could feel his heart swell in his chest just by the way you looked at him, with need, and want, and maybe even love. “Kiss”.
Felix wasted no time, planting his lips on yours, relishing your moans against his lips, relishing the feeling of Hyunjin’s head bobbing and moving between your legs as he held him in place. Your tongue pushed its way inside Felix’s mouth, right as your hand wrapped around his length, and the sudden contact had him moaning immediately.
Your other hand joined Felix’s on Hyunjin’s head, further pushing him against you. Very quickly, the room filled with the sounds of your moans, of Felix’s moans, of Hyunjin’s moans… Groans, grunts, whimpers, and whines mingled with one another, to the point where it was hard to know from whom the sounds were coming out from. But it didn’t matter. All that mattered was Hyunjin between your legs and your hand around Felix’s cock… All that mattered was the mix of your scents in this room on this bed and the amount of lust and love pouring out of all the three of you and bouncing off the walls.
Lately, there was nothing Felix enjoyed more than getting lost on his lovers bodies, than the feeling of you and him and Hyunjin just sharing your warmth, your pleasure, and as he felt you tense under Hyunjin’s quickening tongue, as he felt your grip on his cock tighten the further his mate worked you up, he knew there was nowhere else he wanted to be than right here, in this moment.
Felix detached his mouth from your lips, attaching himself instead to your neck, licking at your pulse point for a moment–just enough to get a concentrated taste of you, quick enough to not trigger your alpha instincts. The contact of his tongue on your neck was gone almost as soon as it started, and he finally moved away from your neck to attach his lips to your cheeks, groaning and moaning against your skin.
“You wanna make me come, Hyunjinnie?” You asked, and Hyunjin nodded, sucking your clit into his mouth, making you throw your head back against the headboard.
“Make our alpha come, Jinnie”, Felix pleaded, pushing Hyunjin further into you. “Use that filthy mouth of yours just like you know how to, and later, you can get my cock, too”.
Hyunjin moaned, the sound strained and muffled as he got lost in your heat. 
“Our sweet prince just wants to have his mouth full, doesn’t he?” You pressed a kiss on Felix’s lips, and he felt you shiver and tense further. “Always eager…”
The closer you got to your high, the more your scent seemed to intensify, and Felix was almost drunk on the smell of fresh fruits and the forest. He rocked his hips, fucking your fist just as his tongue kept dancing against yours.
The sounds of your wet kiss, the sounds of Hyunjin slurping you up, the squelching sounds of your fist around his length had Felix’s head spinning, and when your release washed over you, the feeling of you trembling and the smell of your arousal in the air almost, almost made him come, too.
With a tight grip on Hyunjin’s hair, you got him off of you, tugging him up for a kiss, a kiss Felix couldn’t help but join, moaning at the taste of you on Hyunjin’s tongue. 
“Satisfied? Happy you got what you wanted?” You asked as soon as Hyunjin separated his lips from yours, sounding incredibly confident for someone who was still panting for air.
Hyunjin nodded, whimpering when you tugged on his hair again. “Good. Now be a good boy and lay down for us, hm?”
Hyunjin scrambled, laying on his back and watching as you took a condom from the box that had been hastily thrown on the bed earlier. As soon as you slid the latex on his length and you made sure it was securely in place, you straddled him, sinking yourself on his cock in one swift movement, eliciting a shared groan of relief.
You didn’t move, you just sat on him, watching as Felix got close to Hyunjin’s head, kneeling with his length in his hand. Hyunjin looked up at him, with his eyes all glossy and with flushed cheeks, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths. Truly a sight to behold.
“Please, Lixie…” Hyunjin begged, and you chuckled from your place on his lap, making him flush further.
“So desperate, baby. As if you didn’t just have your mouth busy… How needy…”
“If there’s one thing our Jinnie is, is needy. Aren’t you, love?” Felix chuckled, caressing Hyunjin’s cheek briefly, only to finally move closer to him, slapping his length against his cheek, making Hyunjin flush further. “A textbook slut, aren’t you?”
Hyunjin swallowed, nodding. The sound of a hand hitting skin resonated in the room, the slap Felix gave Hyunjin made his mate moan as soon as his palm made contact with the skin, and Felix gripped his chin tightly with one hand right after. “Aren’t you?”
“Yes!” Hyunjin whimpered, writhing a bit under Felix’s hold, and it made him feel tingly all over, tingly with lust and love and need. “Your slut!”
“Good boy”, you chuckled, pinching one of his nipples, making him squirm.
“Indeed. Our good little slut”, Felix let go of Hyunjin’s chin, caressing his cheek after.
“Please… Move, please”, it wasn’t very clear to whom Hyunjin was talking to, to you who had been sitting on his length for a while now, completely unmoving, or to Felix who had his cock so close to his mouth, but not letting it touch his lips at all. Most likely, it was directed to the both of you, but Felix decided to move first anyway.
“Open up, then, my dearest prince”, Felix couldn’t help but groan as soon as Hyunjin’s lips wrapped around him, sucking him eagerly, moaning around his length as he bobbed his head.
“That’s it, sweetheart… You always look the prettiest, the most handsome, with your mouth stuffed full of my cock, you know?” Pushing the tip of his length against Hyunjin’s cheek, Felix slapped the bulging skin a bit, relishing the way Hyunjin closed his eyes and moaned in bliss.
You chuckled from your place on Hyunjin’s lap, placing your hands on his chest for leverage and finally starting to bounce on his cock, making him whine and whimper as Felix kept thrusting into his mouth. “Look at you, Jinnie, dear. So pretty. Moaning for us like the prettiest bitch in heat”.
“Moaning like our perfect slut, you mean”, Felix chuckled, the sound breaking into a moan of his own as Hyunjin started to move as well, meeting Felix’s thrusts, letting his cock ease into his throat.
“That, too”, your pace was ruthless, the sound of his gagging and your skin hitting Hyunjin’s had Felix salivating, and he wasn’t sure where to focus. On his forever mate choking on his cock, or on your tits bouncing with every single one of your movements, or where Hyunjin’s length kept disappearing within your heat… 
Hyunjin’s moans were getting increasingly more desperate, Felix could feel his orgasm grow incredibly close, and as soon as he locked eyes with you while he kept thrusting into Hyunjin’s mouth, he knew he wouldn’t last.
“Come here, Lixie. Let’s give our precious little omega what he wants”, you urged, quickening your pace.
“Fuck!” Hyunjin started to swear as soon as Felix’s length fell from his mouth, his blissed out noises now spilling freely from his swollen lips without the foreign body fucking his mouth.
Felix moved closer to you, just as you got off Hyunjin’s length and pulled the condom off of him, dropping it somewhere behind you to collect later. With his hand around his cock, Felix leaned into you, kissing you sloppily as he jerked himself, as you pumped Hyunjin with a tight fist.
Hyunjin was moaning a lot, Felix was grunting a lot, you were borderline growling, and it was all so much, so intense, Felix could feel his entire body tensing, and he was ready to burst at any second now. 
The second you bit Felix’s lip, he couldn’t hold back anymore. Muttering a quick warning to no one in particular, and with a few more strokes, he finally came, spilling all over Hyunjin’s abdomen, his climax clouding his senses completely as all the tension finally left his body. He opened his eyes just enough to look at your hand around Hyunjin’s length, and if he hadn’t been lightheaded before he would’ve certainly been now at the sight.
“C’mon, Jinnie. Wanna come for us? For your precious mate and your dearest alpha?” Hyunjin frantically nodded in response to your question, gripping the bed sheets tightly in his fists, moaning and swearing and making all assortments of unintelligible noises under your ruthless grip.
With one final, drawn out moan, Hyunjin came, some of his seed dripped all over your fingers, while the rest landed on his torso, soiling him and mixing with Felix’s cum. As soon as the last drop was out of his mate, Felix dived, licking the mixture of their releases into his mouth. With his tongue thoroughly coated in their juices, he kissed Hyunjin, pushing his tongue into his mouth. 
Hyunjin whimpered, pushing his tongue against Felix’s briefly, until finally you came close, and Felix simply moved his head enough so you could join in. And truly, Felix had never felt any more fulfilled than he did in this very moment, sharing that kiss with his two favourite people in this world, in that mess of tongues and lips and fluids.
With a satisfied sigh he dropped on the bed, laying next to Hyunjin just as you left the room, picking up the used condom from the floor on your way out. When you returned with a soaked washcloth in your hand, you cleaned up the mess that had been left on Hyunjin’s abdomen, murmuring soft words of encouragement as you did so. Felix simply took the cloth from you after to wipe the remnants of his release from his length just as you laid next to Hyunjin, pulling him to your chest, and pressing a kiss to his forehead.
As soon as Felix turned on his side, pressing his chest to Hyunjin’s back, Hyunjin started to rumble, letting out a content sight at your soft caresses on his hair and at Felix’s tender kisses on his shoulder.
“You should stay”, Hyunjin mumbled against your chest after a while, making you chuckle.
“I can’t tonight, pup. I’ve got to prepare this whole thing at the den… They’ll be waiting for me”, you answered simply, and when you looked at Felix he gave you his best puppy eyes, adding a sad pout for good measure.
You gave him a smile in response, pinching one of his cheeks. “I really can’t, Lix. Don’t make this any harder for me”.
“We just… Miss you when you’re gone”, Felix pressed his body further against Hyunjin, just as you did the same, effectively sandwiching him further between you two.
“We do”, Hyunjin reaffirmed, practically suffocating between your breasts, probably exactly where he wanted to be.
You sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind Felix’s ear. “I miss you guys, too. But you know I just… Can’t leave my packmates. They’re my family. And I know you guys won’t leave Chris, so… This’ll have to do for now. We’ll figure something out eventually”.
Felix just hummed, closing his eyes for a bit to enjoy the warmth of your palm on his cheek, to enjoy the rumble of Hyunjin against his chest, to ignore the need to find that solution right now. There was no point in dwelling on it when it truly was a bit of a complicated situation, and his post-coital state certainly didn’t make it any easier to make logical decisions.
The three of you laid there for a while, just sharing some body heat, some light conversation, until you moved to the bathroom to clean up, until you eventually had to call it a night and leave.
As Felix laid in bed with Hyunjin that night, curled up in a ball at the foot of the bed just how he loved to do, he realised that, he had truly never believed in soulmates, but if such a thing existed, he was one hundred percent certain having one would feel just like it felt when he was with you and Hyunjin.
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someghostwriter · 4 months ago
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VOICE
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shoto todoroki x fem idol!reader
tags: slowburn, singer!reader, pre-ua for a bit, angst, pining, complex family dynamics
a/n: i havent written todoroki before, actually ive only ever written bakugo but that was in 2018 so this may not be good!! Im bad at writing, but i feel like im slowly getting better! please let me know if you want more of this!!
prolouge // 1
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PROLOUGE
You wish you could have become a hero. Instead, here you were, stuck in a different career path: to become a teen idol.
When your family found out your quirk had no real potential to be a hero, they chose to turn you into a star. Your quirk allowed your voice to hypnotize. Not to an insanely high degree, it just made anyone who heard your voice obsessed with it- You called it Voice, to make things simple. It came from your mom's siren quirk- one she used to become a hero. Your dad's quirk was to make people crazy, so that's probably where you got the obsessive part of your voice.
It didn't mean much. It just meant that since you were young, your parents forced you to take many voice lessons. To teach you how to sing, even if your quirk was activated constantly with no off switch. Just to make sure that one day, when you became a star, there would be no way that people wouldn't love you. 
You were 15, sitting on a park bench, realizing that your dream of being a hero would never come true. That your only realistic option was to be a star.
You waited there. as if someone was to come along, give you a better quirk, and tell you that you could be a hero. Someone to scoop you up and free you, not from being an idol, from being disappointed that you would never be able to save someone's life. not directly.
Tears welled up, and you were quick to look at the sky. You couldn't ruin your makeup, no way, your father would get on you for it. That you need to keep appearances proper and fresh. They loved you, that you knew. But they couldn't help but be harsh on you sometimes, to the point that it hurt your hopes. Especially with the idea of becoming a hero.
They were so quick to say that you'd never be a hero, why?
You sighed, knowing that this second-best option wasn't horrible. No, it was pretty awesome. You loved singing, and you knew you enjoyed your performances. But you could never get over your first dream. Someday you'd adjust to singing, and you'd be famous. You were sure of it.
Opening your phone camera to check and see that there was no makeup running down your face, you stood and began walking towards the studio that you were expected to be at soon. It might have been the middle of summer, but now that you got taken out of school to focus on becoming a teen idol, you were busy- a lot. The 15 minutes you sat in that park, debating your life choices was probably the most free time you had. The rest of it was spent recording songs and doing things with the public to increase your following. You were slowly but steadily gaining more followers and listeners since your first performance, which you hyped up a lot.
Your end goal was to become #1, which was going to be a challenge knowing that you were aiming that before high school even started you'd be high-ranked as an artist, but you didn't mind too much. It was ambitious, sure, but you had confidence in your voice. Even if it meant wearing outfits that you had no real opinion on but it wasn't your vibe. Even if it meant singing on a stage with eyes on you, so many eyes watching your every move. You could make enough money to have a stable life, you hoped. You hoped that you would have the break through every artist had.
if you didn't embarrass yourself first.
You sighed, picking up the pace to your studio, hoping that you wouldn't end up being late again. It was just around the corner, sure, but you knew there was a lot of leg traffic in this specific area. It made everything a lot harder, especially if one person ended up recognizing you. While good for publicity, it was awkward to be confronted- something you were yet to get use to.
Except, running into some guy in the less crowded area wasn't on your bucket list. You were too in your own world to see the guy in front of you, on the wrong side of the pathway and staring at the ground, and ran right into him. Embarrassing. You immediately backed up, spilling apologies that probably made zero sense with how quickly you were saying it. You looked at the boy in front of you, spurring one last apology before you realized how pretty this boy was.
Half red, half white hair. It wasn't a combo you usually saw, but you were curious about the idea of what quirk it might be related to, as it wasn't very normal to have dual-colored hair. Or maybe he dyed his hair. He was staring at you, too, but with more of a worried yet cold expression. It was intimidating, how pretty yet stone-cold he was. 
"Uh, hello?" 
Shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you realized you were staring for a little bit too long. Where did the time go? No idea. You sputtered more apologies, awkwardly fidgeting with your hands as you did.
"It's- I'm sorry I ran into you. Are you hurt?" He spoke with some kind of sincerity, but a lot more confusion than anything. Were you speaking that fast? You chuckled, fidgeting with your outfit a little.
"I'm okay, just caught off guard. Sorry, I didn't mean to run into you." You bowed your head a little, just to show that you were sorry. You looked back at the boy, swaying side to side, awkward silence ensuing, only showing the awkwardness between you two.
"Um, I need to go, but uh, nice meeting you?? Have a good day!" You spoke quickly, ducking around him and moving forward, leaving the boy confused in the middle of the walkway. That was embarrassing. You continued towards your studio, finally making it inside. You ushered yourself towards the lady at the front desk, checking yourself in before moving towards the back where the recording studio that you and your father were renting out for you.
Opening the door, you readied yourself for the sting of your father scolding you for being late- and the performance of the song you recently wrote. 
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theodoraflowerday · 8 months ago
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young royals s3e1 episode reaction:
oh god oh lord
let's go
and his LAWYER? is this about sara reporting him?
oh ludwig speaks
THEYRE BEING SUPPORTIVE???? I fr thought their marriage was a sham lol
PILLS????? KRISTINA??????????
bro wille really is a mini kristina huh.
wait simon's never been to the palace before has he?
a SETTLEMENT??????????
BRO HE POSTED CSAM TO THE INTERNET WDYM A SETTLEMENT
oh. my god burn it to the GROUND LINDA
oh? oh my god? what the fuck???
"piss person" well you little bitch baby that is Indeed what you are so
ugh
Linda is so right but so is Simon
I really hope this isn't how it's solved tho I wanna see August burning
"I just want it to be over" oh my baby boy oh my son
what's this hi hi what is this heartstopper
CAN Y'ALL KISS??? IVE WAITED LIKE A YEAR AND A HALF?
"cozy" oh kflfjdlfjdlgkdlgkdlgkdl little shit
(ps if I didn't rewatch yesterday I fully wouldn't have caught that throwback)
when Simon touched the curtain I knew kslfjdlfjdlfjdlfj
THEYRE SUCH PRETTY KISSERS IM GONNA RIP MY LEGS OFF
IS THIS HOW YOU IMAGINED IT
THIS IS BETTER
BROOOOOOOOOOO IM GONNA SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT
omfg they're SO CUTE I'M LOSING MY MIND
oh OH oh they're GOING at it
oh come ON
well that was precious as all hell
and now they're going back inside as if they weren't dry humping in wille's room 3 minutes ago. kings.
I want to smash rickard's face against a fire pit
simon: oh fuck. wille: oh yea you're lucky I didn't shoot you piece of shit
I'm losing my mind at linda being extremely surprised while kristina's like "sighs yeah. fucking figures. erik would never"
also losing my mind at wille's face lil bro is like AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN BAP BAP BAP
[maddie voice] FUCK YOU AUGUST
oh now linda's all disappointed. ok. be a better mom then.
i will literally rip August's face off idc
KRISTINA??????????
KRISTINA
omg felice
oh baby girl no
BUT SARA WAS A SNAKE
I want to give felice so many hugs my bbg
oh my god farima what the fuck sjgldjfkdjfldkf
WHAT THE FUCK
oh my god she really said "ok you're super gay now, wonderful, how can we use this to our advantage"
WELL ASK THEM?? YOU'RE THE LITERAL MOTHER IN THIS SCENARIO. ACT LIKE ONE.
linda has been pissing me tf off since last season idc
omg someone snitched on hillerska
OH
OHHHHHH
OH THEY KISSED IN PUBLIC
OH MY GOD
OH THEYRE GOING ALL OUT
hey now hey now this is what dreams are made of etc etc
BOTH THE CROWN PRINCE AND YOUR BOYFRIEND
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA
B O Y F R I E N D
let's fuckin GOOOOO ENDGAME BITCHES
if simon sneaks out it's gonna bite them in the ass tho lmao
"sleep with a freshman" August did that twice lmao gross
OH THEY KNEW
OH MY GOD HE'S DOWN BAD
vincent is such an asshole barfs
DONT TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT AWAJFLSJFKSJFSKJ
fine. I'm coming out. i am a big august/sara enjoyer.
not the tiny heart that's so fucking cute
he can't get tattoos?? that's such bullshit. get a tramp stamp wille it's what you deserve
not felice unloading on wille and simon HDKFJDKGJ babygirl I love you and you need a therapist bc that's so inappropriate
"how do you get over your best friend" felice baby im gonna send you a google doc called the lesbian masterpost hang on
yeah of course that piece of shit nasty asshole talked to the press lmfao
"ex" y'all kissed like twice, [clare from derry girls voice] look at the state of ya
actually? can rosh and ayub talk to him? with their fists? and a knife preferably?
you know, I actually kinda like nils. he's so fucked up but you can see he genuinely cares abt wille. in his own lil fucked up extremely upper class way.
SARA
SARA NOOOOOOOOOOOO
oh lmfao that's literally how my dad's house looks like when I show up haha sad
omg are they gonna initiate her again
OMG
OMG BABY GIRLS
BRO THEYRE GONNA CLEAN HER ROOM AND TAKE HER TO NEW YORK
TEEN GIRLS BRO
oh wille seems so cozy. wonder what's going to go down now.
oh did they write an article abt simon
oh
oh it was not about simon
oh sweet baby jesus
I mean. it was totally alexander wasn't it lmfao
but also like....... I love that they're blowing that shit up. blow that school up.
ALL CLASSES?????
aw they're sitting together. boyfriends.
"did that happen to you" how is wille more worried abt the gay porn one and not ALL THE OTHER SHIT THEY DID TO HIM
oh I like her she reminds me of the lady from the incredibles
ohhhh
NOT THE PHONES TOO?
get over yourself vincent. fuck you vincent.
oh they're gonna close this shit
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
fuck okay wonderful
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pink-dainty-angels · 2 years ago
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a looooooong thing of abunch of info
im missing vacation with my bf so much :[ its like getting a taste of living with him and i ended up crying a couple times bc i was on my period the entire time and im quite emotional on my period (i just get real sad) and i was sooooobbing in the shower one day and couldnt stop even as i got out of the shower and he noticed i was gone for a while. so he walks in the bathroom to see what im up too and its just me butt ass naked crying with a beat red face while picking out my pad and he looks at me with a sparkle in his eyes and just hugs and rubs all over me and asks me whats wrong and im like "i don't know ;-;" and hes like aw baby and i think he ended up telling me i looked cute and stuff to make me feel better💜 hes just lovely bc hes just their for support, doesnt try to fix things or give unnecessary advice. he rubs my back, kisses my forehead and lets me cry things out on his shoulder:< ive also let him know that sometimes i just need to cry because i have a past with self harming, he knows thats how i used to cope with everything and it was impulsive alot of the time and i also did it everywhere i went for any bad emotions i felt so he makes sure to be soft with me and give me time to process my thoughts bc when im upset now that i dont sh anymore, my emotions are alot and i just end up sobbing bc theirs not much more i can do, sometimes i even think abt how i could easily sh and the only thing thats holding me back is myself physically but honey bear knows and i dont what him to see that side of me or have that challenge in our relationship. i dont want to cut myself when i with him because it would change alot and i dont wanna see him disappointed in me like that when hes told me hes their for me if i have those feelings. i always think abt us bc hes my actual soulmate, hes always been the other half of me. in school we were a duo and everyone wanted us to date, i turned him down a couple times but ge kept coming back and don't get me wrong, i loved him then, i wanted to be with him so bad but at that time i had my sh struggle and i knew it wouldn't end up well if i said yes so i told him i really liked him but not right now and oooo boy did he wait for me. never looked in another girls direction, in fact hes pretty scared of women but me :> im his first everything and i love how he loves me :> i love how we are so aligned in what we want, we had equally shit childhoods where we saw no love in our households and we never want that so we communicate and makes sure to love on each other and tell each other how cute the other persons tummy is^_^ btw ive known my daddy for 10+yrs now and thats a long time of ignoring feelings and love someone :>
that was alot but i miss him and this is my blog so shush :<
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lizilla · 4 years ago
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#vent#god every time i feel like im getting better life gives me a brick to the teeth#in my current home i have a mother-figure who i adore and love. she genuinely care about me#meanwhile my actual mother i had to leave because of abuse and mind games that were tearing me apart#her and her husband are awful for different reasons. my mother shaped me to be her therapist and the adult in her life cause im the youngest#and her husband has children. all of which are in different states except for his youngest whos a spoiled brat#i lived with my mom. stepdad. and step sister for years and was constantly tormented by the 3 of them in different ways#anyway its a whole lot of mental and emotional and sometimes physical abuse. 3 people who shared a human punching bag (me)#and i finally snapped. not snap snapped but i knew it was coming so i left#and my new home is better. i feel like more of a family then i ever have. i am heard and i am not used or mistreated.#i do my work on the farm and i keep my head down#its not hard work and i honestly kind of enjoy it#i get to take care of animals and kids and its a house in the middle of nowhere. its peaceful#but her kids are growing resentful of me and i dont know what to do#i dont mean to be a 'goody two shoes' or whatever but when new mom asks for something done i jump to it#because i dont want to disappoint her or let her down#because ive been conditioned to think that one wrong move will have me out on the streets even though i know she wouldn't do that to me#my world is hanging on a thread and im convinced that its just waiting to snap and everyone is gonna tell me how worthless i am#im best friends with one of her kids and i do their work for them cause its not a big deal to me#if she asks for something and theyre in the middle of something or dont feel like it i do it for them#and then she gets onto her kids about being lazy. i assure both of them its not a big deal. they fight anyway.#they drag me into it and make me the reason for their fighting. and its overwhelming cause it makes me think of my previous home#i cant live like this. a house where everyone is against you sucks. but a house where only one person is on your side is maybe worse.#my blood mom loves me and i love her but our relationship is unhealthy. i still visit her all the time and talk to her daily#even though it hurts. because i want her to get better#shes trying to convince me to come back to her and i am halfway considering it because i cant stand people fighting because of me.#i have nowhere to go. my treatment has made me push away anyone who ever cared about me and now i cant talk to people or make friends#i have no motivation anymore and i have no healthy outlets. i cant do this i cant socialize or talk to new people & i cant work a normal job#i can either live with the woman who put a gun to my head and looked me in the eye and told me it never happened. & my step family#or i can live with people who used to love me but now resent me. i wish i could disappear. i wish she would have just pulled the trigger oh
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sungbeam · 3 years ago
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��𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙎𝙄𝘿𝙀 𝙊𝙁 𝙋𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘿𝙄𝙎𝙀 — four
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huang renjun x fem!reader
you and renjun are pen-pals-turned-best-friends, except, no one knows that you know each other. at the same time, both you and renjun are also trying to survive being set up with people by your own separate friend groups. turns out, maybe you both just want each other and no one else.
genre. f2l, secret friendship/relationship, rival schools, social media au
featuring. nct 00 line, itzy's yeji + lia, aespa's karina + giselle, and others!
warnings. use of a girl's photo but it's only for the outfit concept!!
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iv. doomsday — 1k words
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YOU ENTERED THE CAFÉ to the sound of a soft twinkling bell above you. The smell of cinnamon buns fresh out of the oven met your nose first, and you breathed in the aroma greedily. According to Jeno, your date was going to be here soon, and had told him to tell you to order first and pick a table.
Easy enough, you thought as you joined the line at the front counter. Your friends, Jeno, Yangyang, and Haechan had also let you know the certain things they wanted you to note about your experience, including whether or not you enjoyed the date and would want a second date, and if the person they picked was someone you were genuinely interested in. You had no idea how they picked the person—you would probably end up finding out in the report later.
Just as you moved up in line and the door bell twinkled again, you heard someone call out your name. “Yn?”
You whirled around, fully expecting to find some familiar face from the halls of NCIT. The face was definitely familiar, but one that you had previously been confined to seeing over a screen. He was shorter than you thought he would be—just around your height, actually.
“Huang Renjun,” you beamed.
He returned your smile, though the disbelief was still ingrained in his face. There was a little lick of hair that stuck out over his forehead, but it was charming, like the rest of him. “Woah, I'm—kind of starstruck right now.”
“Same here,” you laughed. “Who knew we'd finally meet each other on a blind... date.” Your voice trailed off as you connected the dots, eyes widening as you came to a realization. “Oh my god, are you my—”
Renjun’s eyes were wide, too, as he shook his head and waved his hands. “No, no, no! Don't worry. My friends sent me her picture, and you definitely aren't her.”
Relief filled your lungs and you exhaled your worries away. Pressing a hand to your chest, you joked, “Thank God. She's probably prettier, right.”
“Not really,” was his offhanded comment.
Before you could reply, he asked, “What about your date? Are they here yet?”
You shook your head and instinctively scanned the café another time. “Nope. My friends didn't tell me anything, really, that's why I thought you were who they set me up with. Now that I think about it, them knowing you wouldn't make much sense.”
“Yeah no, it wouldn't,” he agreed.
The two of you moved up in line, now standing side by side, and surveyed your order options from the menu. Renjun mentioned something about ordering a slice of castella cake and coffee, while you eyed the chocolate chip muffin in the display case. You ordered and paid separately, then went to find separate tables to sit and wait at. (After wishing each other another round of luck, of course.)
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Forty-five minutes later, you were still at your table, but your muffin and matcha latte were fully consumed. The only thing was that the seat across from you remained empty—as in, you were stood up, and you weren't in a fantastic mood as of now.
You texted your friends back, irritated that this person was wasting not only your time, but also your friends’ time and trust. This wasn't just for a social outing, this was for a grade.
Your phone screen lit up with an incoming call from Jeno, but you could already imagine the things he was about to say. “Hey Jen,” you answered back, trying to hide the disappointment and annoyance from your tone.
“I am so sorry, Yn! The guy just—” he made a groan of agitation that rivalled your own, “—he just bailed on us! I'm so sorry that you had to wait alone and that we wasted your time—”
You cut in. “Jeno, it's not your fault or Yangyang’s or Hyuck’s. Don't beat yourself up over it, okay?”
You could hear the relief in his voice. “I know, I'm just... I don't know, stressed, and I guess I'm panicking. I really don't want you to regret this and think we're taking advantage of you, Yn-ie, really.”
You couldn't help but smile a little bit at that. “I know you guys aren't, Jeno. I agreed to do this, remember?”
“Not willingly, though...”
“Maybe that's true,” you said, “but I want you guys to succeed and I'm not backing out. Let me know when you guys want me to go on another date. When and where, and I'll be there.”
Jeno sighed. “I don't know what to say; thank you so much.”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Okay, I hope you have a good day, Yn-ie. See you at school.”
“See you, Jen.” As soon as you hung up, you slumped in your chair and stared at your outfit. What a waste of a nice outfit, you thought, before standing up to bring your dirty dishes to the station at the side of the café.
You were about to leave the café completely when you felt a presence by you at the station. Surprise flickered across your face as you saw that it was Renjun. “Hey. How's your date?”
Renjun gave you a deadpanned expression, then nodded behind him. “Gawking at the barista.”
You followed his gaze to where a pretty girl in a sweater vest and skirt sat at the counter, hair twirled around her finger, as she and the barista flirted with each other. “Dude,” you muttered lowly with raised brows.
He gave a shrug. “Yours?”
“I wouldn't know; he didn't show.”
Renjun winced at this. “Dude.”
“I'm not super bothered by it. I'm just more annoyed that he would do this to my friends.”
The look Renjun sent you was one of confusion and incredulity. His lips parted as if he was going to say something, but closed them, as if thinking better than to say it. You pretended not to see that.
Instead, you said to him, “Hey, wanna get out of here and hang out together?”
A small smile bloomed on his face. “Sure.”
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a/n: next update on thursday, march 3rd!
« prev · m.list · next »
taglist (italicized means i couldn't tag u 😔): @misa-misa-09 @runawayreki @lovesonghyuck @purenjuniverse @hae06 @tatakaee @blaaiissee
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barnesandrogersfanfics · 4 years ago
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Ocean Eyes - Part 12
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A/N - Finally an update!! i promise to not leave it as long for the next part.
Please like/comment/reblog, it gives me incentive to write quicker if i know people are actually enjoying my madness 💕
"You okay?" Chris asked suddenly making me jump, i thought he was asleep! He was currently wrapped around me acting as the big spoon.
"Jesus christ! You scared the crap outta me!" I chuckled quietly feeling stupid that he made me jump so bad.
"Sorry dahlin" he chuckled close to my ear "but are you okay?".
"Yeah just can't sleep, I've got so much going through my head i can't switch off"
"Its not because you're in here with me is it?"
"No of course not, this is actually just what i needed. I've missed laying in your arms...." I had caved and agreed to stay in Chris's room tonight, no funny business just sleeping. I felt Chris smile before pressing a kiss to my neck.
"I've missed this too. So what exactly is it keeping you awake beautiful? Talk to me..."
"Honestly? The whole thing with Brian.... how did he find me here??".
"I have no idea, but its very creepy!.... then again we shouldn't really be surprised, he had a habit of always knowing where you were. I got bad vibes off that guy the second i saw him".
We had called the police to report Brian but they couldn't do much about it as he technically hadn't done anything wrong, they said to call them again if we saw him around anymore.
"I don't understand why he's doing this! Its not like i led him on or anything, I've never shown that man any interest. I barely even talk to the guy!"
"He's clearly unstable"
"It scares me Chris...."
"Hey, i won't let him hurt you.... i already warned him to stay away...." Chris said through gritted teeth.
"What?...."
"It doesn't matter...."
I turned in his arms so i was now facing him "yes it does, what do you mean you warned him to stay away?"
"The day Scott and I came to get you and Mason to bring you here, you remember how he kept going on about where you were going and when you were coming back....then he asked you to dinner?"
"Oh yeah, you kinda snapped"
"Yeah.....I told him nicely to stay away from my family, that you were unavailable and uninterested.... that he should move on. I said if i found out he was harassing you still id make his life hell" he looked a little sheepish as he confessed to what had been said between the two of them.
"Well I'm guessing he didn't like to be told to stay away huh?"
"Apparently not. But lets not worry about  him right now, you need to sleep"
"Ive been trying...."
"Come here" Chris said and rolled onto his back pulling me close until i was laying with my head on his chest, his hand stroking up and down my back. Back strokes were my weakness and he knew it! "You'll be asleep in no time" he mumbled pressing a kiss to the top of my head. And he was right, with the steady thumping of his heart and his fingers stroking my back i was a goner.
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I woke up alone, the bed already cold meaning Chris had been gone for a while. I reached for my phone on the bedside cabinet, it was nearly 10am!! I quickly got up and headed to the bathroom to pee and check how bad i looked. Once i was done i headed downstairs to find Chris, Mason and Scott.
"Hey" Chris smiled at me as i entered the kitchen, he was sat at the dining room table in front of his laptop.
"Hey, why didn't you wake me up?"
"You looked too peaceful, besides you didn't get to sleep til late"
I nodded walking over to kiss him "thank you" i smiled running my hand over his bearded jaw "you're the best".
Chris pulled me down into his lap and deepened the kiss until i had to pull back enough to catch my breath and we both laughed.
"Where's Mason?"
"Walking Dodger with Scott, i gave him breakfast and helped him get dressed before they left"
"He wasn't any trouble was he?"
"Not at all. He's like the best behaved kid I've ever met"
"He has his moments don't be fooled" i chuckled thinking back to some tantrums id witnessed over the years.
"I don't believe you, that kid is an angel"
"You just wait and see Evans" i laughed before getting up and walking into the kitchen so i could get a coffee and some toast.
"So um, I've got to do an online interview tonight with Jimmy Fallon" Chris followed me into the kitchen.
"Okay" i nodded.
"I just thought id let you know i'll have to disappear for a while"
"Thats fine, Mason will probably be in bed by then and i'll just stay in the living room watching a movie with Scott"
"Now i feel left out" he pouted.
Later that day we all went outback and played some Wiffle Ball to pass the time, Chris and Scott getting competitive again.
"Mom I'm tired" Mason said wrapping his arms around my waist and cuddling up against me.
"You wanna go take a nap before dinner buddy?"
"Yeah"
"Come on then" i picked him up and he rested his head on my shoulder "guys Mason needs a nap, i think you've worn him out"
"I think i need a nap too!" Scott laughed.
"Well I'm gonna make a start on dinner, you have time for a nap if you wanna"
Walking back up to the house i started struggling with Mason, he was getting too big for me to carry around now! My baby was growing up too fast!
"You want me to take him?" Chris suddenly asked, i nodded and come to a stop before passing a sleeping Mason over to Chris.
"Thanks, he's getting heavy" i said sadly.
"No problem"
"I hate that he's getting too big for me to carry him when he's tired"
"I know but its okay, I'm here to help now"
"Who's gonna carry me? Im exhausted!" Scott added making us laugh quietly so we didn't wake Mason.
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The evening flew by, we all had dinner then sat and watched Toy Story with Mason. When it came to bedtime Mason insisted that Chris read him a story and of course he couldn't say no. Once he was asleep Chris headed to his office to get ready for his interview while Scott and I headed to the living room to find a movie to watch.
"Sooooo....." Scott said dragging it out to sound scandalous as he wiggled his eyebrows at me.
"What?"
"What?.... don't you what me Missy! I know you spent the night with Chris! So come on spill the tea sister!"
"You're ridiculous you know that?" I rolled my eyes at him and laughed at how comical he looked right now.
"Like i care" he shrugged "come on! Tell me what happened"
"Sorry to disappoint but nothing happened we just slept"
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah, we're taking things slow"
"And who's decision was that?"
"We both said we don't wanna rush it"
"But you suggested it right?..... hey I'm not judging you for that" he quickly added when he saw me look away sadly.
"You're scared you're gonna get hurt again aren't you?"
"Wouldn't you be? I just wanna make sure we're gonna be okay, that its more than just sex. We were always good at that, the emotional stuff.... not so much"
We were halfway through the movie when Chris rushed in asking Scott to join him for a game that Jimmy Fallon wanted them to do.
"Really? I can't just leave Y/N on her own....."
"Go i'll be fine" i chuckled.
"Sorry dahlin, i hate leaving you on your own.... we wont be long though 15/20 minutes tops.
"Go do what you gotta do, I'm fine here watching this" i nodded to the TV.
While they were off doing the interview
I texted my mom and Hannah to check in, they were doing good all things considered. I quickly settled back in to watch the rest of the movie but was interrupted again by multiple message alerts on my phone. I looked to see it was Hannah blowing up my phone.
When i opened the thread i gasped, my heart was racing so fast.... i felt sick as my eyes landed on one thing in particular....... the headline!
"CHRIS EVANS HAS A SECRET FAMILY!"
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Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes @bellamy-barnes @buchanansebba @rosalynshields
Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina
@mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave @jakiki94 @torntaltos @my-dearest-agent @ms-betsy-fangirl
If your name is crossed out i couldnt tag you.
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panlyv · 3 years ago
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i wanna know the teaaaaa on semantic error i haven't been vibing with the drama need some validation please everyone seems to love it
hello anon!! sorry to answer a day later, but i wanted to finish the drama so i can answer you with my opinion of the whole show.
i don't think there's any tea tbh, idk if you read my previous anon but the thing with the cast i mentioned is simply an issue i have with age gaps in casting in general; not everybody is bothered by it so it's my own personal issue with it rather than any drama involving the cast.
i was a huge semantic error fan and ive been waiting for this drama for more than a year now, but my expectations were never high because sang woo and jae young have a loooooooooong way to go until they actually get together, there's a lot of back and forth and i knew the drama wouldn't be able to go with that kind of storytelling with the limited time they had. i tried to watch it as someone who didn't read the manhwa and i do think the drama holds up on its own, you get the gist of jangchu even with the crazy fast pacing they went with, but one of the things that makes jangchu so good for me is that back and forth, so i was a bit disappointed about the way they structured the timeline, like bro just do a quick montage so we can get some sense of the passage of time, but instead they had jae young say he only pestered sang woo for four days??? like what 😭 it was at least a few weeks till sang woo understood his feelings and came after jae young :/// but besides that the drama is good, i liked the addition of yuna as a recurrent side character, since in the manhwa we only meet her past halfway and only when they are in the studio. i haven't read the book which inspired the manhwa, and they did say they only based the drama on the manhwa, but the france thing,,, idk how i feel about that and idk if that's how it went in the book, bc in the manhwa they just barely got together and s2 ended like 2 weeks ago, but yeah, that little drama in the end wasnt my fave.
ANYWAYS. we are all entitled to our own opinions, im sorry u didnt vibe with the drama, but as someone who already knew and loved those characters, i think the actors' portrayal of them Felt like them and in the end that's what matters, how well they can translate the characters to the show
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rosesanthology · 4 years ago
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And Yet... | Akaashi Keiji x F!Reader [musician!AU]
Violinist!Akaashi x Pianist!Reader (yes i saw that one Viria fanart)
Ive been feeling extremely bad these days but im managing to write some things for my emotional support hq boys (Akaashi and Kenma) so here u go even tho its probably a lil shitty 👁3👁 its all about them la la land type of vibes
Warning : i didn't proofread this, also it's VERY self indulgent
Songs : • city of stars from La La Land (but Dodie and Jon Cozart's cover)
• any of the songs in the fic but especially Bach's violin sonata in presto IT SLAPS
[Tags] : @raevaioli
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- You've always admired the way human life entertwines itself with art. The vicissitudes of a fleating existence finding a way to express themselves in external stimulations, the way someone could pour as much of their soul, as much as themselves in just one moment, one performance, one artwork.
- it is the main reason why you decided to become a pianist. The second one being that you could hardly put as much effort on anything else
- your mother would argue that it is but a mere childhood dream to do something as uncertain, sure.
- and yet, the first time your performed in front of an actual audience, even if it was just at your high school's theatre auditorium, still felt like the best
- you had registered in the student showcase program without your mother knowing, wearing not the dark blue dress you dreamed of but a hoodie, some jeans and sneakers
- in the moment it seemed fine even if you did look way underdressed than the other kids who registered for piano too
- but it all seemed to tie together with your whole personna as you sat on the stool making sure to put your tiny moomin plushie on top of the grand piano
- he helped a lot
- at that time you played Tanjirou no Uta because well....there's only so much you can expect from a high schooler who lacks confidence in their skills
- regardless of the song your fingers danced onto the heavy keys, the sound swirling with your own emotions as you tried to concentrate on the one thing you wanted the most,
- "Somebody, look at me."
- because there is such a big difference between only being seen by people and actually being looked, observed, analysed
- at the time you wanted someone to look at you and wonder if what they were feeling listening to your piece was flooding their brain the same way it flooded yours
- if the lingering sound of pressed keys made their heart and time stop in the same way it did yours so well whenever you played
- it mattered. In that moment, only that mattered, but sooner or later it had to end
- until then, the only person who was able to exactly tell the things you wanted to convey was your childhood best friend Akaashi Keiji
- he was of wealthier upbringing, his parents always so uptight and pressuring him into their perfect mold in which he seemed to fit so oddly well
- and yet, he always found time to be there for you and help you in your struggles, he was far more musically inclined than you because of his background but his eyes never lost their gentle glint as you would mess up the keys to a piece
- he'd always take his time to let you know how much he liked hearing you play even if you insisted that you weren't as good as him, his smile never wavered as he rested his chin on his palms and closed his eyes, listening to your fifth poor attempt at playing Clara Schumann's sonata in G minor
- that was your typical sunday afternoon in his living room, playing the day away intoxicated in the calmness of his scent of flowers and warm cotton
- when you finished, people didn't seem to mind the choice of the song nor the stuffed toy that added to your whole appearance, if anything you only heard encouragements, advices and heartfelt returns
- among them was Akaashi of course, ever so gentle but marking in his praise, making you feel like maybe you were worth standing on that stage
- it wasn't much compared to what the middle school kids who played Mozart got but, it gave you enough of a push to have the strength to call yourself a pianist today
- nothing really changed in your little world, you still had your moomin plush sitting on the piano everytime you performed and the same simple attitude, now you just knew your classics and could play something else than anime music even if you did manage to fit a little song once in a while
- what changed tho is that you and Akaashi had grown appart after he had left
- his parents had suddenly decided to register him in some fancy music college in Paris
- away from you
- at the time, you knew that no amount of tears and words could possibly matter in the final decision
- but it's not like you could ever control yourself when he held you in his arms like he did when he broke the news to you
- you were never that gracious at goodbyes
- but if it meant that he could get the life he deserved than you were willing to make that sacrifice, even if he wouldn't have the time to talk to you as much as before
- in the meantime you would continue to grow as a person and as an artist if not for you then for him
- and that's what you've been doing for the past four years
- and it is exactly what brought you to accept the offer to perform at another musician showcase tonight
- it was fancier than a high school show that's for sure. It was held in one of these candle lit restaurants, but not the impersonal ones where the tables are five meters away from each other
- it was one of these places where everybody seemed to know each other and relish in the warmth of sharing the same pleasant time while listening to live concerts
- after your own performance you sat back down with the other musicians, talking a bit with the pretty cellist Kiyoko Shimizu, who finished her own before yours
- when the lights dimmed and the next musician stepped on the stage your heart almost stopped
- there stood your dearly missed friend in flesh and bones, violin and bow in hand, or at least you thought so
- he started playing and you watched from the side, amazed, your heart achung with the resonance of the instrument as he gently swayed to such a hard piece as Bach's sonata No. 1 in presto
- the ground and the rest of the room seemed to dismantle around you as all you could think about was the man playing music off of your very heart strings, the man who you've known for a long time and who had been such a huge inspiration and motivation in your existence
- the man who always was so sensible and observant despite coming off as stoic to most people, the same one who was always gentle and motivating all the whilst excelling in what he did himself
- this was Akaashi Keiji.
- and right now he was playing such a fast piece with an unspoken surprising sadness to it as if he'd disappear into ashes the second he stopped, the second he relaxed
- but it eventually had to come to an end, the sound of the strings tearing you appart to reveal the most vulnerable parts of yourself to him like it always did on sunday afternoon practice
- the realization came crashing into you as he bowed to the audience and locked eyes with you, sending you a small smile before disappearing backstage
- naturally, you went after him your breath hitching and your whole being coming to a halt three meters away from him
- you had been way farther away from each other and yet, these three meters felt the worst
- he turned to you, and as casually as if he never left opened his arms for you to run into and that's just what you did
- his own heart was pounding as he caressed your hair, whispering phrases like "it's okay" or "im here now" as you sobbed into his chest
- he still smelled of wild flowers and cotton.
- "let's go catch up outside Y/N?" He said just for you to hear
- he brought you two outside on a bench overlooking the city and its lights but you couldn't help but keep your eyes on him by fear that he'd disappear again
- "w-why are you here ?" you stammered without thinking
- "why you don't want me here ?"
- "Yes- Well no- i mean yes i want you here and-"
- his laugh resonated even more than his violin if that was possible and you didn't have to wait long to feel your face heat up
- "first thing you do is laugh at me...." you said, playing with his fingers on your lap, a thing you did back then whenever he was nervous and started fiddling with his hands, even tho you were the nervous one now
- he sighed, the previous sadness from his playing as if blown away by that tiny impatient breath of air
- "i came back on my own. I missed you Y/N", he smiled again,
- "i missed you too...but what happened to your studies ? You always said you lived for music ?" you incquired, squeezing his hand maybe a little too hard in aprehention
- "i did...i did but i realized many things abroad"
- "like what ?"
- "im a little disappointed Y/N you used to be so good at guessing what i wanted to convey with my music" he said raising an eyebrow at you and laughing once more when seeing the confused look on your face
- "i may have said i lived for music yes and yet...i always knew that i live for you."
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verobatto · 5 years ago
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Destiel Chronicles
(Vol. XXIII)
It was a love story from the very beginning.
When you're more than family
(6x16/6x18/6x20)
Hello my friends! How are you??? We have this chronicle and the next one, and we'll be officially finishing season 6!!!
I want to give thanks to my friend @agusvedder she made the gifs for this meta, thank you girl! 💕
Ok, I'm gonna talk here about an interesting parallel I saw between Rufus/Bobby and Dean/Cas, I consider this a huge proof to settle Destiel as a romantic relationship. I'll take episode 16, 18 and first part from 20.
But let's start for once! Enjoy!
Episode 16 as a foreshadow for Leviathan and Castiel's possession
Episode 6x16 "And then there were none" we had two specific situations foreshadowing what will happen by the end of this season.
I want to talk first about the foreshadow of the arrive of Leviathan inside Castiel's vessel.
Pay attention to this piece of dialogue...
BOBBY: So, we're talking about, like, a monster that gets in you?
DEAN: It's like a Khan worm on steroids.
SAM: You mean like a parasite, something that took over your body.
DEAN: Worm crawls in you, worm crawls out.
RUFUS: Monster possession? That's novel.
SAMUEL: Or that thing's still in you, and we can't trust a word that you're saying.
This was foreshadowing Castiel's Leviathan possession, a monster that gets in you, is clear here the parallel, and then Dean saying "worm crawls in you, worm crawls out" is what will happen with Cas at the beginning of season 7.
Episode 16 as a foreshadow of Dean and Cas break up
When Sam faces Samuel, there's an interesting quote there, that can be seen as a foreshadow too...
SAMUEL: Just because you're Dr. Jekyll at the moment doesn't mean you can get all high and mighty. Don't forget, we spent a year together.
SAM: Yeah, we did. We're blood. And you still sold me out.
Sam is claiming here to his grandfather, his family, because he betrayed them. Cas is family too, and they have been together for a large period too. So the betrayal will hurt deeply. But mostly to Dean.
Now, let's jump to the interesting conflict between Rufus and Bobby. There was something in their past, something huge that hurted Rufus and he couldn't forgive Bobby.
Read the following dialogue...
BOBBY: Yeah, s-shut up a minute. I'm trying to say something. It was my fault – Omaha.
RUFUS: No. No, it wasn't.
BOBBY: No, I should – I should have listened to you.
RUFUS Well, hey, that's categorical, Bobby.
Think about this, Bobby here is CAS mirror, and Rufus is Dean. Bobby/Cas is regretting something he did in the past that hurted badly to his best friend. And that quote... Is what Cas would feel at the beginning of season 7 when he will try to get Dean's forgiveness.
Okey.. let's continue...
BOBBY: I – l-let me just get this out.
RUFUS: Bobby, we've had this conversation already, okay?
BOBBY: No, we haven't. I never said I'm sorry, Rufus. I – you lost her because of me, and I—
RUFUS: Bobby, I said we've had this conversation already. And you could blabber all day...And it wouldn't change a thing, Bobby.
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I saw this and I was like... Of course, this is talking and yelling Destiel all over the place. This is a blantant foreshadow of Dean and Castiel fighting.
Castiel trying to convince Dean, and Dean too hurt to listen. Cas saying "I'm sorry" and Dean "This won't change nothing" , I know you remember this ... The next episode are so sad that my heart hurts.
Ok, but... The scandalous thing isn't this parallel... But Dean's own words...
Cas is more than family for Dean... That's why he won't forgive him
Ok... This was an enlightened discover here (sorry if someone else has seen this before, come and share your thoughts) but... When Dean listened what had happened between Rufus and Bobby, and when he knew Rufus has never forgiven Bobby.. this was what he said...
SAM: So, what happened?
BOBBY: It was Omaha. It was my fault. And he never let it go.
DEAN: Well, he should have.
BOBBY: You don't know what I did, Dean.
DEAN: Doesn't matter.
BOBBY: What do you mean, it doesn't—
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DEAN: (...)We're gonna spend it wringing our hands? Something's gonna get us eventually, and when my guts get ripped out, just so you two know, we're good. Blanket apology for all the crap that anybody's done all the way around.
SAM: Some of us pulled a lot of crap, Dean.
DEAN: Well, clean slate.
SAM: Okay.
Two things with theses words Sayed by Dean...
1) Dean thinks family and friends deserves forgiveness, no matter what they did. Ergo... If he thinks that, why he couldn't forgive Castiel's betrayal? Isn't Castiel family? His best friend? Like a brother? Why then he didn't forgave him? Simply, because for Dean CAS IS MORE THAN A FRIEND, AND MORE THAN FAMILY. This is just logic, my friends and a huge proof of what the writers want us to see, a big subtext of how Destiel was written romantically. In his own words we will hear him say too in 7x17 (Reading is fundamental) that what Cas did, he doesn't know why, but he couldn't forgive him. And he will say too, that never had happened to him before. You need more proofs?? Dean is in love with Cas. But he still doesn't admit it. (He will in season 8).
2) He says when his time comes... He wants to know everything is ok with his friends and family, so everything has to be forgiven. Ok... That would explain why when he was about to die in that mission to kill Dick in season 7, he forgives Cas.
Ok, now, following the same idea, we had this sweet snack, brought by my dearest friend Agus, I was screaming like a crazy lady when she told me this... Pay attention... In Dean's words too...
Episode 6x18 "Frontierland" Dean and Sam travel in time to track the Colt.
DEAN: I know where we can find one. March 5, 1861. Sunrise, Wyoming. We'll "Star Trek IV" this bitch.
Ok, Dean... Star Trek... Men on space... You'll be an astronaut or something like that...
Immediately after this... Dean prays to Cas...
DEAN We got a guy who can swing it. (Dean stands up, and prays) Castiel. The, uh, fate of the world is in the balance. So, come on down here. Come on, Cas, "I Dream of Jeannie" your ass down here pronto. Please.
(an angel appears in the vessel of a blonde woman)
DEAN: Jeannie?
Ok, not Cas, but... Wait a second... Why are you an astronaut and Cas is Jeannie? We all know what happened between them... Yeah... The fell in love with each other!!! *Screaming*
Then I died and Agus went for the dragon balls to resurrect me.
She will add something in the comments beacuse when she showed me that "thing" she found ... I died again. So. Agus, be responsible.
Now, just to give a closure to episode 6x16, another petit foreshadow...
Sam and Dean will lose his second dad
At the end of the episode, the boys are alone looking at Rufus's grave.
And then...
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Here a sad prelude of Bobby's death in season 7.
Dean's blind Faith in Cas
In episode 6x18, we had a curious situation, Jealous!Dean strikes again, when he prays to Cas but the one answering is his lieutenant.
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She is angry with the Winchesters brothers, because she thinks they call Cas just to use him for their capricious desires.
But in the middle of that discussion, Cas arrives.
The tone in Dean's voice and his facial expression is yelling jealous, that's not the point here now, but just wanted to mention it, because is our jam.
Fine, now... In this same episode we see Cas walking into the dark side, and we have this dialogue with his lieutenant...
RACHEL: Castiel, I've been hearing things. Things I don't want to believe. Just tell me if it's true.
CASTIEL: If what's true?
RACHEL: You know. Your dirty little secret.
CASTIEL: I have to defeat Raphael.
Cas is willing to anything to defeat Raphael.
RACHEL: Not this way, Castiel.
CASTIEL: Rachel.
RACHEL: We put our faith in you, and...look what you're turning into.
CASTIEL: I don't have a choice.
RACHEL: Then neither do I.
Rachel is disappointed with him, her leader is working with Crowley.
We see this scene, and immediately we are worry too about Cas behavior and future.
But the most hurtful and beautiful episode from the whole season was 6x20, The man who would be king, written by Edlund, this episode was an oasis for Castiel's fans. Here Cas talks directly with us, Edlund describes the character he created and explains why he's doing what he's doing.
I divided the episode in two parts, I will talk here about Dean's blind Faith, trust, in Cas... Is very heartbreaking watch him trying to believe in Case till the last second. Because CAS was more than family to him.
So, first of all... This scene...
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If you notice Dean's face. He's worry about Cas. He's worry because his brother and Bobby suspect about him, and he feels between CAS and them. He tries saying that to him. Because he still trust him, and he is sure if something is wrong, Cas will count on him. And the longing stare, so Destiel here. Cas is struggling with telling or not the truth, and Dean is expecting some answer. This is sad and angsty my friends...
But Dean isn't the only one feeling himself between two poles, Castiel is too. When he arrives with Crowley, the King of Hell makes him notice he knows about it...
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Crowley says this, knowing how it sounds. It sounds like a romantic thing. And he did it on purpose. So, Crowley is presenting Cas and Dean encounter inside the Impala as a romantic scenario.
Now... Let's go with Dean arriving to Bobby's house...
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Ugh, that. He still believes in Cas, he is giving himself excuses to kept his faith on him, the same happened when CAS leave him alone on Purgatory, or when the angel didn't scape from there, he invented in his mind excuses, because he loves Cas so much, he never would expect betrayal from him.
And Cas being there, hidden, listening to his friends, as if he was a spy.
And this quote here...
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This is sadness, because he's watching Dean trying so hard to be loyal to him, imagine the war Cas was having inside of him. He felt he was still the Winchesters's guardian, but at the same time, he had HIS MISSION, and nothing goes before CASTIEL'S MISSION.
If you're not crying so far... I have two more things Dean says because he loves and trusts in Castiel....
SAM: Yeah. So what now?
DEAN: We'd call Cas.
SAM: What?
DEAN: This is usually the point where we would call Cas for help.
BOBBY: We talked about this.
SAM: Yeah, Dean.
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DEAN: I mean, when there was no one...And we were stuck - and I mean really stuck - he broke ranks. He has gone to the mat cut and bleeding for us so many freakin' times. This is Cas! Don't we owe him the benefit of the doubt at least?
Yeah... Let's cry... Even with all the evidence, Dean believes in him. Cas is Sam and Bobby's friend, but for Dean, evidently, HE IS MORE THAN THAT.
So they prayed to him... But Cas was there... Listening hidden... And didn't come...
DEAN Castiel...Come on in.
CASTIEL But I didn't go to them...Because I knew they would have questions I couldn't answer...Because I was afraid.
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Edlund shows us the whole time Castiel's inner war... His feelings... His suffering.
And Dean... Dean still believes in him... Because here you have another invented excuse he gave himself...
To Conclude:
6x16 was full of foreshadows for Destiel fight, the arrival of the Leviathan inside Cas and Bobby's death. It also showed us what Dean thinks about forgive family or friends. Ergo, and because he couldn't forgive Cas, Cas was more than that to him.
6x18 gave us a romantic parallel with the astronaut Dean and Cas/Jeannie.
It shows too Cas in the dark side.
6x20 was a beautiful episode written by Edlund, showing us the intimacy of Castiel's thoughts. The POV is exquisite, and explains perfectly why Cas was doing what he was doing. Edlund defends his character, and writes a romantic and angsty chapter.
Dean believes in Case against all the evidences, just because he loves him. And Cas is more than family to him.
I hope you like this, see you in the next Chronicle!
Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @bre95611 @thewolfatmydoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @xsghn @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts
If you want to be tagged, just let me know.
Previous season 6 Chronicles:
Vol. XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XIX, XX, XXI, XXII.
Buenos Aires, August 7th 2019 10:05 PM
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superaznchick · 2 years ago
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life update #11
hi im up at 2am right now because my digestive system is going through some shit (pun absolutely intended) and the pain is keeping me up so I ate some fiber pills and chugged some water and am now just sitting waiting for everything to settle
--
lately ive been feeling as if i could see my entire history laid out behind me and my entire future laying flat in front of me
it's like when you're driving up a hill right? you don't see what's over the hill but you see everything behind you because you're climbing up and have a vantage point
i feel like i just rounded the corner of a really really long climb, and i look behind me and see all the road i've traveled from a bird's eye view. situations i thought were impossible look like easy maze puzzles from this height. i look back and remember how sad i was and how much i suffered. but it's all detached from me now because i'm so high up, and i see it all in from a new perspective.
but then what about the road in front of me? it's all just flat now. i can actually see distinct, paved paths, instead of running around blind before. traveling on this flat road unsettles me because it's so different from what i'm used to.
--
growing up has been an interesting experience. when i was younger, i sometimes would ask myself why adults behaved a certain way, and make a mental note to do an experiment with myself: years later, when i've become a "grown up," i would come back and revisit this memory from their perspective. would i finally understand?
unfortunately i don't remember the specific memories anymore, but i was disappointed to learn that in many situations, adults don't always know better. in fact, adults will lean into kids' naivety and take advantage of them and know they will get away with it. it's just too easy. in middle school my sixth grade choir teacher sat us all down and ranted to us about how his mom called him a dumbass and a fatass. back then it seemed so shocking, we were all like "how could she say something like that?" but now, my only thought is "why are you using these kids as your therapist?" i mean, i already know the answer. it's because he made us promise to not say a word about this to other teachers or our parents. because he knew he could get away with it.
kids still see you when you think no one is watching. the memories you inflict on children don't just magically disappear when they get older.
--
i think the pills are working but it's probably going to be a rough night. i threw up a little bit just now :'( i think i ate too fast at dinner.
--
growing up was a humbling experience. it was also sad and tragic, but cathartic at the same time. i used to think that one day i would conquer the world. or maybe, i could turn a corner and discover that magic was real, and that i was the chosen one.
the longer i live, the more apparent it is to me that the world was not made for the living. i believe this because humans keep bending reality to our will. i think if we were actually made for something, then that something should come easily. living isn't easy for most of us i think.
--
i can't seem to make my mind up about having children. i'm struggling to reason with myself in both scenarios - if i get pregnant, what am i going to do if i don't want it anymore? i have no problem with commitment, but that's the problem. i feel paralyzed by commitment. i know that if i say yes, it is an absolutely irreversible decision.
what's my argument to have kids when i myself am struggling and have seen others struggle? yes i found love and meaning, but in my opinion it was a complete stroke of sheer luck, and a lot of heavy lifting after the fact to maintain this luck. if i were to have my kid's best interest at heart, wouldn't it be in their best interest to not be born? what, am i just going to bring them here on the off chance that they *might* find happiness? like imagine someone inviting you over for dinner on the off chance that the food *might* be good. wouldn't that be irresponsible of them?
but let's say they crash land on earth and they are happy, and they love me and i love them back. was it still ultimately a selfish decision? i made this human that turned out so happy and fulfilled. is it a credit to me? or to them? or both?
and what would be the point of all this hard work when i already feel happy and fulfilled with my partner? parenthood is a strenuous team activity. and it's strange because it's an activity that has potential to divide you. we're literally bringing an new human into our already tight coupling of two humans. we're increasing our population by 150% and relationship dynamics by 300% because we now have to consider not only me<>my partner, but also me<>baby and my partner<>baby. and this new person is a wildcard - sure they'll be half me and half my partner, but no one has ever met them before. what are we going to do if we don't like them? what if we don't agree with their beliefs and actions? sure as parents we have a great opportunity to shape their beliefs and actions, but at some point we have to let them go and beyond that point, there is no telling what they can turn into. i know people preach about unconditional love when you're a parent but the fact of the matter is, kids are just human beings that you have yet to meet and form an opinion on. there is no magical connection that binds you for life. it takes active conscientious work to raise them and build a relationship with them.
-
my tummy feels better now so i'm going to sleep. wish me luck.
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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago
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Ali & Carly
Ali: Heyo boo Ali: thanks for Rocky wrangling with me today, you're now also his fave so, add that to your tally Carly: its k i had fun Carly: hes a cutie & cool kid Ali: me too Ali: yeah, he's alright, but cocky enough so I ain't telling him Ali: dunno where he gets that from 😏 Carly: ha Carly: yea idk Carly: no clue Ali: i'm sorry Ro was being off btw, I'm working out why but trust it wasn't you, babe Ali: been neglecting her lately, everyone wants a piece of me Ali: hard life Carly: idc its me too Carly: nobody wants a piece but you Ali: I just told you that ain't true, and Rocky is ruthless, he called one of my customers a 'big bum witch' the other day Ali: no tip for me, thanks dickhead Ali: but I want all of you regardless Ali: willing to throw hands Carly: aw Carly: this town is full of big bum witches tho Carly: my ma back for one Carly: but are you willing to use those hands for good too or Ali: awks if that was your Ma, like hey gurl, I think you rock it Ali: your daughter ain't bad either Ali: you know it, IOU 'cos we couldn't make like we were in the backrow of the cinema Carly: unless she been lying about where she at i think youve avoided meeting the in laws again Carly: k cuz you kno i need to collect soon Carly: bored Carly: just back and zoned out so fast Ali: ain't even got exciting stories from their galavanting? fucking rude Ali: at least when we go AWOL we also go wild Ali: make things happen, lads Carly: my ma's good for nothing but hairspray and peroxide Carly: only use if i get beat up again Carly: my da's good for cash tho if you wanna get wild w me Ali: or you wanna single white female me Ali: which would be a disappointing outcome to say the least Ali: can't tonight babe, I've gotta have some sister time Ali: go hard for both of us Carly: k Carly: try not to miss me bad when shes talking about me Ali: oh babe, she will not, and if she does I'll set her straight Ali: gonna let the world know you're my 😇 Carly: whatever her issue shes gotta air it and youre her sister so you gotta hear it Carly: idc shes not gonna hurt me w it Carly: and setting peeps straight is the opposite of how you do, babe Ali: true Ali: idk what issue she could have though, you're a literal ray of sunshine Ali: true again 😏 Ali: ugh, imma miss you Ali: maybe i can sneak out when she's gone to bed, the 'rents too Carly: i miss you now Carly: cant hear my parents say shit Carly: i just wanna talk to you Carly: dont tell me maybe & keep me waiting tho Ali: i will Ali: promise Carly: i dont wanna make trouble for you Carly: w anyone Carly: you can stay w her if you need to stay Ali: You won't Ali: I can do both Ali: be back before first light Ali: even if I'll miss watching the sun rise on your face 😔 Ali: we've got the night, baby Carly: but you kno if ive got you for the whole night youre gonna fall asleep Carly: thats what im good at Carly: feel free to tell your sister thats why you like me ha Carly: fun & tiring its magic Ali: hmm, we'll see who wears who out first, babe Ali: and if I am that husband, then you'll just have to wake me up with morning sex like the good little wifey you are 😘😂 Carly: always bringing that confidence i like it Carly: k but if my parents wake up too you can explain its a duty thing yea i had to like Ali: i like you Ali: for so many reasons and imma show you all of 'em tonight Ali: fuck that Ali: stay out with me, its warm enough Ali: i'll trace all the constellations out with my tongue so you won't ever forget Ali: educational Carly: my ma is asking me what im blushing about Carly: i told her what you said but she's not a believer Carly: support my education bitch Carly: ha Ali: i mean, i'd offer to let her see the benefits for herself but Ali: not gonna win me any brownie points 'cos she won't take me up on it Carly: she dont kno what she's missing but i do Carly: wish you were here Ali: me too Ali: start the party without me babe, i don't mind Carly: too late if you do Carly: gotta get through this reunion some way Ali: they aren't making you watch a slideshow, are they? Ali: fate worse than death Ali: Maybe you could go to Ronan's? Lmao, he's been up in my pussy way too much since he found out about us...didn't think we were THAT loud but ok boy Carly: yea Carly: might do cuz same Carly: but what if i miss you he can really make a night of it when he wants Ali: Nah, I won't let you face that disappointment, babe Ali: my spidey senses will tingle like not on my watch, fuckboy Carly: aw Carly: you gonna come get me? Carly: thats no way to get him out your pussy babe fyi Ali: yeah Ali: I know but I like the idea of showing you off as mine Ali: but no sharing, he only gets to watch and be mad he fucked it up Carly: i like it too Carly: youre hot when youre oneupping fuckboys Carly: i thought i knew how to do it best but k youre flipping the script Ali: as long as i'm besting them i'm doing my job right Ali: gotta keep you on-board Carly: speak of the devil Carly: how he know i was alone & horny Carly: my parents have only gone to the shops its uncanny Ali: know your neighbours but bit stalkerish, pal Ali: i'll text him to fuck off, freak him out Ali: how does she know, ha, two can play this game fucko and I'm more committed Carly: ha Carly: you gotta Carly: hes smoking im gonna bum one see what line he tries to lay on before the text sends Ali: On it Ali: gotta let him know there's a queue to court the princess now and he's at the back, soz Carly: he likes hitting it from the back he wont be put off Carly: im gonna show him some of the hot pics i took of you tho Ali: when is he ever tbf? 🐶👅💦 Carly: true Carly: that fucking cute tho aren't i Ali: you know it babe Carly: hes talking to my da now Carly: kill me Ali: how fucking dare he Ali: knowing he has the upper hand with the man bants Ali: i know how to change a tire too! love me! Carly: if my ma invites him in for tea im out of here Carly: she will think hes hot under the collar for her & bitch thats my groundwork Ali: Run baby run Ali: what kinda moron is he tho Ali: coulda had a private show if you just waited, now its all saturday night telly and flat lager Carly: you kno i have nowhere to go if you dont want me babe Carly: facts Carly: he likes me now he cant have me what a fucking Carly: like i wouldve fucked you but im not getting w you Ali: i do, is this full sos crisis mode though? 'cos i need to be good for a lil while longer yet Ali: such a typical bloke move that Ali: bet he ain't the only boy in ur inbox, not a pun Ali: 'cos he ain't in mine like 🙄 Carly: its k your sister needs you Carly: i can keep walking Carly: loads of other lads on site as well as in my inbox Carly: & they arent trying to say hi to me before we get down to it nevermind my parents Ali: 😾 Carly: why so sad blue eyed boo Ali: i don't like how lads treat you Ali: i'm not jealous, like swear to god, even though i obviously want you all to myself, i get it Ali: but i'm not about how shit they are to you, even if you don't care, they should care to be decent humans Carly: thats not lads its everyone Carly: youre the only one treating me different Carly: they dont know how else to be Carly: made my bed babe Ali: nah Ali: you don't deserve half the shit you get, that's bullshit Ali: and even the rest, people just don't wanna try to understand or be good, heaven forfend they inconvineince themselves for one second, like Carly: if im a slag im a slag i dont get to put conditions on it Carly: if it was a film maybe Carly: but theres no romance coming my way from theres and i dont want it Ali: why can't you just be you? someone who likes fucking, among other things Ali: not romance just like...not being a cunt Ali: idk Ali: pisses me off Carly: cuz you don't run the world even tho you strut it like you do and i love it Ali: not yet, babe Ali: one day, and you can be my right hand woman Carly: yea? Carly: take me w you & ill take you to all your fave places k Ali: k Ali: we'll be fun forever, I promise you Carly: gotta be Ali: you know i like you even when you ain't tho Ali: don't tell Carly: who would i Carly: ronans got enough for his wank bank & nobody else is chatting to me rn Ali: exactly, ruins the illusion and fantasy when they realise i care about you Ali: so unsexy of me Carly: youre sexy to me Carly: idc what they think Ali: good Ali: me either Carly: i like you too you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i had my suspicions Carly: i dont have any subtlety sorry about it Ali: Don't be Ali: I love it Ali: not enough people say what they mean or want, ever Carly: waste Carly: k i wasnt shouting how bad i wanted to kiss you before i did but not cuz i was bothered about me Ali: agreed Ali: sometimes you can't know you want something until you've got it Ali: i get it Carly: you get me Carly: its weird Ali: 🔮 Carly: ha Carly: k what am i thinking now Ali: wouldn't be proper to say Ali: tut tut bad girl Ali: like how you think though Carly: fuck Carly: youre good Ali: 🤷 don't mean to brag but remember that phrase you'll be screaming it later Ali: such a Ronan line, I can't 😂 Carly: but true Carly: not like when he says it Ali: 😍 Carly: what you doing w your sister Carly: gotta live through that cuz bored Ali: Fixing my weave Ali: getting into a white girl dread territory over here Ali: then gonna do some 🔮 forreal Ali: get ready for me to be even more of a know it all baby Carly: cute Carly: tell me my future i got some shit from another neighbor & im waiting for it to kick Carly: hows it gonna treat me Carly: needing a good trip Ali: we'll see who gets the answer first Ali: you got anything for me? Carly: yea Carly: they mystery but i kno you arent scared Carly: & you got me doing a test run rn lying on here on the grass Ali: 🌌 be there before it fades away my space explorer Carly: if you find me at a bad end prob dont take it Ali: is one of the lads trip sitting you Carly: so he reckons but hes drinking so theres no trust Carly: & he gave me it Carly: his game could be me lights out idk Ali: keep texting me, okay babe? Ali: if shit gets too real, tell me and I'll come early Ali: my sis is cool now, she gets what we're doing, she was just confused Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Carly: you told her you like me Ali: 'course I did Ali: I ain't ashamed Ali: I'm proud Carly: youre gonna make me cry Ali: You're special, Carly Ali: You're gonna see Carly: I just wanna see you tho Ali: Me too Ali: I'm gonna make her some chamomile tea and then I'm coming, yeah? Carly: but thats not fair to her Carly: she's not gonna be a fan of me Ali: I've promised her more time tomorrow Ali: You need me rn Carly: but what if i want you to stay Carly: what are we gonna do then Ali: i'll stay until you're ready for me to go Carly: you mean that? Ali: yes Ali: promise, imma take care of you Carly: but theres nothing in it for you Carly: youve already got me you dont have to Ali: i wanna keep you Ali: and not just selfishly Ali: you gotta stick around, you're too cool to go anywhere, okay Carly: k Carly: im here & if you wanna be im not stopping you Ali: good Ali: i wanna be wherever you are Carly: i kept you pills back the lads didnt want me to but idc about them & you can follow me in now Ali: fuck them Ali: just me and you Carly: yea Carly: ill look after you too Ali: 😇 Ali: i know, i trust you Carly: idk if you should Carly: but i like it Ali: willing to take my chances Ali: you're worth it Carly: thats you Ali: i'm so glad i met you Carly: me too Carly: not that i met me thats weird Carly: you know what i mean Ali: i got you Ali: not high yet 😉 Carly: id seen you around before you guardian angel'd me that night Carly: thats weird too Carly: that i didnt see you how i do now Ali: it is Ali: you were always cute but Ali: idk, i can't claim to have seen this in my crystal ball Carly: thats cuz i wasnt cute i was a state Carly: & youd have more likely seen me sucking ronans dick Carly: look away babe you dont need to have that image in your mind Ali: don't need him reckoning he plays part in any of my fantasies, nah Ali: you can't not be cute, no matter how you try, soz babe Carly: you can't not be so sweet to me can you Ali: dunno Ali: not tried Carly: idk what id do if you did Carly: i got used to it Ali: got no plans to stop Ali: unless you ask me to, like Carly: thats not gonna be what i ask you to do Carly: trust me Ali: you can tell me all about it Ali: 5 minutes, tops Carly: okay
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barnesandrogersfanfics · 5 years ago
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Unexpected Arrival - 7
Pairing: Bucky x Reader, Possible Steve x Reader
Summary: As if working with the Avengers wasn’t exciting enough…. an unexpected visitor is about to change your life forever.
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"You’re holding back on me Steve" i smirked at the Captain as i got back to my feet and took my stance again.
"Is it that obvious?" He laughed shrugging a shoulder "just thought you should ease back into training"
"Im fine! its been 6 months since i had Evie and Ive already been training with Sam and Nat a few times a week"
"Still, i think we should take it easy doll"
"Scared i'll kick your ass Captain?" I taunted him, he grabbed me suddenly and swept my legs from under me. We both landed on the mats laughing with me pinned beneath him.
"Im not concerned about that...you’re harmless" he winked before laughing again. I suddenly wrapped my legs around his head catching him off guard and flipped him over.
"Huh, would you look at that.... not as harmless as you think" i shrugged sitting on his chest with my thighs still round his head, it was only then that i realised i was practically straddling his face!!
"Apparently not!....Nat teach you that move?"
"Of course she did" i laughed before standing up and going to grab my water bottle from the side. As i turned i saw Bucky standing in the doorway with his arms crossed across his chest.
"Hey baby" i smiled, i was always happy when i saw Bucky.
"Hey" he gave me a tight smile before looking over at Steve "you two looked like you were having fun".
"I was just proving to Steve that im not to be messed with. Called me harmless can you believe that?? Me!" I told Bucky while looking at Steve, it was then i noticed the looks between the two super soldiers, i'd have to ask Bucky what that was about later. "Ive been trained by The Winter Soldier, The Black Widow and good ol' Captain America himself and you call me harmless?? Shame on you Steve" i shook my head acting disappointed in him.
"Im sorry okay, i take it back" he laughed holding his hands up in surrender.
"So you should" i nodded smugly before walking over and wrapping my arms around Bucky's waist "I missed you" i said looking up at him lovingly "please dont leave me again"
"Doll i only went into town for a couple of hours" Bucky laughed pulling me closer.
"I know but it was too long! Let me go take a shower and then we can curl up and watch a movie while Nat has Evie"
"Sounds like a plan, maybe i should join you in the shower?" He mumbled before pressing a kiss to my lips.
"Mmmm maybe you should" i nodded quickly liking that idea a lot! "Thanks for the training session Steve, same time tomorrow?" I said over my shoulder as we headed towards the door.
"Sure thing doll, i'll be here" he said with a slight smile as he nodded.
"See ya pal" Bucky called to Steve before picking me up and rushing back to our room.
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"Hey babe?" I said walking over to the sofa with my glass of wine and Bucky's beer "can i ask you something?"
"Of course you can, whats on your mind doll?" Bucky asked taking his beer and lifting his arm up to allow me to cuddle up to him.
"Whats going on with you and Steve lately?" I asked, i felt his body tense before he looked down at me looking confused.
"What do you mean?"
"You've both been acting weird, I've noticed these looks between you.... like you’re pissed at each other"
"Really?? When?"
"Ive noticed it a few times, but i saw it today in the gym"
"You mean after i saw you straddling that punks face?"
"That was an accident! I didn't think that move through, instinct just kicked in" i shrugged laughing.
"Well don't do it again, my face is the only face aloud between your legs doll" he said burying his face in my neck and kissing me.
"Bucky Barnes! Did you not get enough in the shower??" I giggled as he continued his assault on my neck, his metal hand sneaking under my jumper making its way up to cup my breast.
"I can never get enough of you sweetheart, you drive me crazy" he mumbled "I'm the luckiest guy in the world having you as my girl"
"Im the lucky one Buck, but we might have to finish this later" i told him running my fingers through his hair.
"What? Why?"
"Nat will be bringing Evie back any minute"
"Cant believe I'm being cock blocked by my 6 month old...... can we at least make out until they get here?" Bucky wiggled his eyebrows before practically pouncing on me.
"Mom, dad we're home!!" Nat called 5 minutes later as she entered our shared apartment carrying Evie on her hip, Bucky and I had quickly parted hearing the door open.
"Hey, how was your day?"
"It was really good, little miss is exhausted but she wont give in and go to sleep"
"Yeah she's a proper daddy's girl at the moment, wont sleep until she's cuddled up to him"
Bucky walked over and as soon as Evie saw him she was reaching for him, Nat grumbled something as she passed Evie over to him.
"Hey my beautiful girl" he beamed at her and pecked loads of kisses on her face. Evie laughed before burying herself into Bucky's neck and starting to fall asleep.
"Nat why is my baby wearing a horse suit??" Bucky asked her raising his eyebrows as he looked Evie over.
"Its a unicorn! And she looks cute thats why" Nat shrugged her shoulders.
"Its cute Buck i gotta admit"
"Shes always cute no matter what shes wearing"
"Well i'll let you guys get lil miss to bed and enjoy your night, thanks for letting me spend time with Evie today" Nat smiled, she loved Evie so much and would often ask if she could take her out for the day. At first we found it hard to part with our beautiful girl but we soon appreciated the time it gave us alone, where we could enjoy being together as Y/N and Bucky and not Mom & Dad. We knew Evie was in good hands with her auntie Nat, the woman who would kill anyone who even looked at her funny.
"Thanks for wanting to spend time with her Nat it means alot to us"
"Anytime, you know i love that girl"
I gave Nat a quick hug and then she turned and left us to get Evie to bed.
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The following morning i woke up early,  showered and dressed ready for my training session with Steve all before Evie or Bucky woke up.
"Buck?.... baby I'm just going to train with Steve for a hour or so" i said gently brushing his hair back from his face, he slowly opened his eyes.
"huh? Where you going?"
"Training with Steve, you okay with Evie?"
"Yeah sure"
"I wont be too long"
"You wearing that?" Bucky suddenly asked sitting up looking me over, i was wearing yoga pants and a sports bra with Bucky's black hoodie that i had laid claim to months ago.
"Yeah..... why?"
"Dont you want to put on a shirt?"
"This is what i always wear to train" i said looking totally confused at what he was saying.
"Why dont you train with me? Give me a couple minutes and i'll come with you. Nat can watch Evie"
"I cant Buck, Steve's probably already down there waiting because I'm running late"
"You dont wanna train with me?"
"Yeah of course i do! But i cant just leave Steve waiting for me. We can train tomorrow i promise.....I'll be back before you know it" i quickly kissed him before rushing out before he could say anything else about me training with Steve.
It was safe to say that i was a little distracted while training, i still couldn't shake the feeling Bucky wasn't telling me something and that something had to do with Steve.
"You okay Y/N? You seem a million miles away this morning" Steve suddenly asked as he held the punching bag as i carried out the combo he wanted me to do.
"I don't know" i stopped my punches to look at Steve "whats going on with you and Bucky? And don't say nothing!"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know what it is but i can tell theres something going on! You two were always so close and now i catch you throwing death glares at each other when you think no ones looking!"
"Its nothing you need to worry about, we're just butting heads over a difference of opinions..."
"About??"
"Its not important doll, you know how stubborn we both can be...."
"Steve Rogers you are a crappy liar!" I pointed a finger at him "Now tell me what its really about".
Steve shuffled around on the spot avoiding eye contact with me.
"It doesn't matter...."
"It does to me! I hate whatever this is between you two. He even asked me to train with him this morning after questioning what i was wearing..... wait... is he trying to keep me away from you?" I asked Steve even though it sounded absolutely crazy that Bucky wouldn't want me spending time with Steve, Steve was one of my best friends!
"Its possible, yeah" Steve nodded.
"But why?"
"A couple months back Bucky asked me a question" Steve started to say but stopped suddenly looking nervous.
"Okay.... what did he ask you?"
Steve looked up at me, finally meeting my eyes as he took a deep breath.
"He.... he asked me if i had feelings for you".
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